Saturday, December 17, 2016

The next chords struck are fault and failure And we both know that finger points on cue There's blame for two

You know when you're so frustrated you're almost homicidal? Not literally, obviously. I've just been a fireball of annoyance, and I don't why. We all know I get easily annoyed, but I promise you I've been better lately than I've been in the past. I'm just struggling lately to not blow up at my clients. And they're not even doing anything, they're just there. I keep having all of these computer issues at work and I don't have ten seconds to call IT to have them fix it, not like they'd be able to figure out. My email won't work on my phone and my damn phone keeps turning off when it's charged enough. The phones in our cubicle don't work when I dial out, but for some reason they work for everyone else. I tried like 4 times to make a phone call and I dialed 9 as I always have, and I am certain I dialed the correct number-it didn't work. Said the number I dialed is disconnected. I called with my pos cell phone and it worked. So before I called from my cell phone, I was at heightened annoyance.  I slammed the phone down and said, very audibly, "This fucking phone" as someone was walking by my cubicle room. I hope it wasn't a client...

Anyway, (metaphor alert) you know when you keep expired food in your refrigerator and you keep eating it, knowing that you're going to get sick? Well I take the trash out every Tuesday morning, but the fridge is freaking full of expired food. It's starting to smell really bad. I just want to be worried about something when I can't. Then I feel bad about it and start extreme worrying on other things that are more logical, but still unnecessary. Then it just manifests itself in extreme anger and/or isolation and everyone is mad at me.

In happy news, I started watching  a new show called The Man In The High Castle. I finished a book called Sweetbitter and started reading How To Talk To A Widower. While the latter is pretty good (former not so much), I just can't get into it. I'd rather just stare at the TV

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