Monday, March 21, 2016

Should you ever come back I'd relax and be relieved of all my panic attacks

So I was thinking today about how much I've been through this year already. And it's all petty boy drama with a mass amount of work stress thrown in. But now that I'm all settled down, I can look back and see how bad it's been. Bad may be the wrong word, cause like I said it's all petty boy stuff. I mean the whole Zac thing was technically 2015 but the aftermath  lasted a while and way longer than I'm used to. And then the Todd revival and how I didn't even care about it. I've never been the one who didn't want that relationship to work out, I've never cared less about one of our bouts of getting back together. But I learned a lot about what I want. And then the very temporary Josh revival. Then the endless dates with guys I yawned the whole time I was with the them. Then the whole Jeff thing. I feel like we were both in the same situation and that was just a nice sweater to get me over the hump. 

Thanks to Game of Thrones for continuing to help me. I started watching The Family and it's really good so you should all watch it. I haven't been sleeping much either and when I do, I usually have a bad dream. Not something that keeps me up for 2 hours after I have it. I think part of it is the GoT reading binge as the bad dreams are science fiction themed. But I'd rather have the bad dreams over the not falling asleep until 2 am. 

So anyway, now I'm just here having small freak outs about my pending probation at work. If I don't make up 15 hours this month I will get probation and then get fired. I'm trying so hard this month too. I've been really focused, but it's never enough. 

I'm planning on going to Maryland for Easter. I'm not looking forward to the drive but maybe it will be nice. 
There are my cute coworkers and my only friends that I see.

I actually did go out for st. Patrick's day last Saturday. I went out with some of the girls I went to college with and their various friends and boyfriends. I hated it, obviously so Whitney and her girlfriend and I left pretty soon into it. I like drinking probably more than the next person, but I sure do hate south side. 

This past Saturday I went to Elyse's house with Shane and we watched The Night Before (my pick) and The Green Inferno (Shane's pick- a terrifying movie) and we attempted to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but that kinda got boring so we watched RuPaul's Drag Race because Elyse loves it. We went to our favorite diner and pigged out as tradition. 

On the Sunday's i laid around and cleaned and read. My life is so thrilling. 

Sunday, March 6, 2016

I don't wanna fight no more

I spent almost all of yesterday cleaning. I cleaned the refrigerator and I pulled out the couch and cleaned behind there. It was an intense day in general. I drove around to a really far library because I had nothing else to do. On a whim, I decided to pick up A Game of Thrones. I'm happy that I did and I'm sort of sorry that I have everyone such a hard time when they asked me to watch/read it, because I really like it so far. It's a very welcome distraction.  I think I was worried that I wouldn't understand it, so that's part of the reason I shied away from it. I fully intended to go to the library and pick up a few YA books and read like 14 books this week, but that didn't happen. I'm amazed that I'm able to focus enough to read it as I can't focus enough to do my case notes for work. And of course I'm on probation. But that's another issue.

As usual, I haven't been up to very much. Last weekend i went to the outlets with my coworker, Elyse. There is this brewery I'm sure I've talked about a million times that is near the outlets. I wanted to go, but Elyse didn't want to wait an hour and 45 minutes for dinner. Which I guess is understandable cause it's about an hour drive back to my house and then almost an hour back to her house. So we settled on a little bar by my house that had some frozen pub food. I'm assuming that someone bought our drinks cause I had beers that were 4 dollars each and two appetizers and I only paid 8.01 for my whole bill. That's part of the reason I love this town. In the city you have to look like a Barbie for anyone to talk to you. I don't want to get hit on at all, but at least here it's just old men who you have to talk to for a few minutes and they end up paying for everything and leaving you alone. On the rare nights when younger guys at bars buy you drinks, they always think you want to go home with them. Like just enjoy my company and pay for my drinks, you idiot. I'm being forced to listen to your idiotic stories, it's the least you could do. But whatever, since I don't see any of my friends anymore I never go out. I laid on the couch drinking beer and reading last night and I'm not even sad about it.

That's my new hair color even though you can't see it.

So on Friday I went to my ex coworkers house with Shane to watch her and some other coworkers decorate an Eagle Scout cake for our current coworkers kid. So the coworkers whose house we were at (Mary)  has these huge dogs. We all know I'm not great around dogs and I was super itchy. So Shane and I didn't eat yet that day and Mary suggested that we go to this place near her house in Penn Hills called Mohan's. We get there and it's this diner-esque place. We sit down and you know when you look at a menu and you just don't want any if it? Yeah, so we walked out. The hostess asked if we were coming back and Shane told her we were waiting for two more people. The poor hostess set up two more places and we never came back. Instead we drove all the way to monroeville to TGIFridays to get endless apps for $10. The waitress kept bringing us two appetizers at a time but only charges us for one endless app. Endless to say, I was full and it was amazing. Anyway, the point of the story... I guess I got a dog hair in my eye or it was an allergic reaction, who knows, but I couldn't see out of my right eye and it started watering like crazy and I kept itching it. So I kept going to the bathroom to try to wipe it out and to clean up my make up. Luckily I had the foresight to not wear much makeup cause I was warned about the dogs and I went to the gym so most of my mascara had come off anyway. But I still looked like a hot mess. Shane said it looked like we were breaking up in the middle of the restaurant and I was crying, and it probably did look like that. The waitress kept giving me looks. Yet she gave me the check...thanks, girl. 

And I spent all of today reading. Going to my aunts soon.