Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Monday, September 23, 2013

You're looking for someone, babe, but I'm too old.

I really can't wait for Alex Winston to come out with some new music. She has a new single out, but I need a whole CD. Why can't artists just release everything at once. I don't listen to the radio so I don't really care if they do one or two and then release the album.

I had a pretty bad weekend.
Okay, it wasn't horrible but...I got a stupid wart removed on Friday and I couldn't get my foot wet for 4 days. I still haven't taken a proper shower, but I don't really care. I got Chinese food because I took the day off. I hung out with Dad and Ashleigh at night.

Saturday it rained all morning. I was supposed to go to the Pirates game with George but on the way my car decided it was going to make some funky noises and vibrate so I went home and got my grams car so I could go to the game. My dad and Jay took my car to Pep Boys cause it's the only thing open at 5 on a Saturday night. They hooked my car up to a computer and apparently something is wrong with the 3rd cylinder. I swear I never had problems with my Rav. So anyway, George and I went to the baseball game. He got those awesome tickets where you can eat as much as you want. Obviously, I ate all that I wanted. Not that I really like baseball, but I've been really into going to the games. I like the atmosphere and they're fun. I watch maybe about 4 minutes of each game, but as long as I'm having fun.




There were some drunk ladies next to us who kept offering to buy this underage boy behind us beer. I was like "lady, get me some. I've spent $40 on beer already". I did spend that much...and we drank before. But remember, $40 got us 4 beers. Neon Trees was playing a concert and we met up with some of my friends who randomly got free passes to go on the field when they were playing. It was quite embarrassing cause there were all of 100 people on the field watching them perform. We got too embarrassed and left. I stole about 4 hot dogs and 2 hamburgers. George got a couple as well. I threw them away because after all of the nachos and hot dogs and beer and the driving and sloshing around in my stomach, the smell of the hot dogs was too much. Anyway, it was fun.

Sunday I didn't do anything except get those adorable cats with Ashleigh. We made some cupcakes, too. And at at my aunts for dinner.



Saturday, September 14, 2013

Between the miles of open road, I've lost sight of what might matter the most

In lieu of recent events, I'm re-evaluating the relationships that I'm going to allow myself to have with males. Not like I really have "relationships", because boys get bored of not doing much physically, cheat on me or leave me for someone that looks like a chipmunk. But you know what I mean. 
I remember right before Denise's wedding I told her that I could make bad choices at her wedding because, five days later when I turn 25, I'm not going to make any more bad decisions. And I haven't made any yet. I suppose I could have, but I've been stopping myself. So as an ode to assholes, here's a bunch of screen caps that I've taken over the past two years of things assholes have said to me:

 Enjoy the life
Like that would ever happen...Who says this stuff? 

 Why don't you get to the effing gym?

 This was my favorite. Call me fat AGAIN and then bitch at me because I was late. I didn't screen cap the previous part of this conversation, but he was like "make sure you're not late this time (I was late ONE time...) I want to get there early". Then I show up at his house and the asshole doesn't open the door, I have to wait ten minutes for his dad to open the door and then his stupid dog attacks me and I get to the basement and he's playing VIDEO GAMES AND MADE ME WAIT FOR TEN MINUTES. Don't tell me not to be late, babe.
 I don't even need to comment on this. 
 What a heartfelt apology. I went on a rant of all of the things he did that sucked and this is all I get. 
 I hope you know I responded to this "okay, Justin Bieber"
this one is just funny because I said I can't help that I'm dumb and then he says "your"


This is where I am right now. I haven't responded yet cause I don't know if I want to. If you want to hang out you better not leave it open ended like that. 




I have more, but they're sort of intense and I don't want people to know who is who. I'm trying to protect those who texted me. 

I've been getting by with my collapsible lung.

Let me tell you about my Friday because I miss telling my blog all of the mundane details of my life...

I had a meeting at 8:30 over in Oakland and that went pretty well. I wasn't in trouble or having to fix something big for once in my jobs life. Then I made the decision to eat lunch at Panera instead of driving 40 minutes back to the picnic that my company was having, only to have to turn around ten minutes later to drive back to almost about where I was to meet someone else. So I sat at Panera and made phone calls and answered emails.
I had to pick up my favorite consumer, let's call him Bob, and take him to the Psychiatrist's office because he's having all of these issues with his medications. I've been "in contact" with this doctors office for some time now. I put that in quotes because they hung up on me once and they're always sending me to the wrong people and they're not very helpful. So on Tuesday I just drove over there and I got Bob all of these appointments. So Friday, we get there on time (I have no idea how I made it because I had to meet someone else at 1:15 so they could meet a new consumer and then get Bob and drive him to the doctor). So I get Bob there on time and our appointment is at 1:40. We didn't get called to talk to the doctor until about 2:30. I'm sure he was doing a lot of important doctor things. The Dr. looked pissed that I was coming in to the office. I explained who I was and why we were there.
Let's get some back story...Bob was prescribed an ADHD medicine by the doctor at his last visit in June the insurance didn't cover the medication so the Dr. said that he would find an alternative drug. Over a month passed and I never heard from the doctor. So I called the office back and the secretary looked at the notes from the doctor that she "just got today" and told me the doctor wrote "drug not authorized" which means that his insurance won't pay for it...WE KNEW THAT ALREADY. So that's why we're here because I wanted an answer.
Back to the Dr.-- This is a loose translation of what occurred.
Dr- Why are you here?
Me- You prescribed this medication in July you said you would find an alternate medication since it was very expensive. We're here because you haven't done that yet.
Dr.- *reading notes and muttering this under his breath* Pharmacy called on September 3rd to let me know that they needed an authorization 12 days ago...Oh I guess that's a long time.
Me- Well you prescribed him this medication and we need to know if he needs to be taking it. His sister would prefer that he didn't take it.
Dr.-- What's your name?
Me- *Complete shock* Bob (Bob is with me in the office I'm just so mad I'm answering for him)
Dr. *looking at notes on computer* Says here he is displaying symptoms of ADHD.
Me- What kind of symptoms. What are the symptoms of ADHD?
Dr. Are you a grad student?
Me-No. I work with Bob, I told you that when we walked in.
Dr. Oh, sometimes grad students do this kind of thing. You saw that African American boy in the lobby?
Me- Sure
Dr.- He had ADHD
Me- Okay but what was Bob doing that made you think he had ADHD
Dr.- I don't know, I guess that day I just thought that he had ADHD. He must have been fidgeting. I just thought that day he had it. That's all I wrote in my notes "showing signs of ADHD". He doesn't need the medication.
Me- *flabbergasted* well can I get a script saying that you discontinued the medication and fill out this agency form.
Dr- *does what I asked* Okay I'll see you in 3 months time.
Me- He has an appointment scheduled in October, this was just so I could talk to you.
Dr. I'll see you in 3 months time.
Me- Don't you need to talk to him to make sure his medications are okay? I'll leave the room so you can talk to Bob
Dr. No, that's okay...*I guess he looked at my face which was not happy and just starts spitting off questions* Are you happy? Do you have suicidal thoughts? Do you hear voices? Do you want to kill yourself? *Bob answers no to all of these questions* Okay I'll see you in 3 months time.

I just got Bob and we left. Now, I've never been to a psychiatrist or even a therapist before, so maybe this is what's supposed to happen? I don't think so though. This man was horrible and unprofessional. He didn't even look up from his computer the whole time. 


So then I dropped him off and it was pretty early, but again, it would've been pointless to drive back to the office to be there for ten minutes, so I went to Shadyside so I could talk to someone about my iPod. Now my iPod hasn't been working the past few days. I almost cried about 3 times just because I knew it was the end of the world as I knew it. I go to the Apple store and it takes them 20 minutes to help me. I hate those people. I used to think those hipster kids were kinda cool, but now I just hate them and their skinny jeans and greasy hair and black rimmed glasses. So the girl (who was actually sorta nice) takes my iPod and plugs it into some machine thing and tells me nothing essentially. She tells me that there's .05 something...volts? I don't know she didn't say. So I asked what was probably a stupid question, "does that mean my battery is dead". Yes, you can buy a new iPod for $129.00. Oh, well what happens to my songs? She told me that I could download them from my computer. No, girl, I cannot do that. about 80% of the songs on my ipod are not on my computer. Apple can't replace the battery or get the songs off my old iPod and put them on a new one. I would gladly pay whatever price it cost for you to recover my songs and put them on a new iPod. No, Apple, just be useless. Then she told me to go to this store in Bloomfield where they can change the battery. She gave me her card and said that they knew her over there. Maybe she wasn't supposed to tell me about this store, but my eyes were welling up with tears and she must have felt bad for me. Later I find out that her boyfriend owns the store, so they probably have some scheme going on. So off I go to Bloomfield to find this store. 

I park and find it. The guy tells me it's only going to be $53 and some change. Oh, not bad. It'll be 30-45 minutes. Oh, not bad. So I take a walk. For those non-Pittsburgh-ers, Bloomfield is a hipster area. Well, it's an old Italian section of town outside of downtown. They won't let corporations in so there were about 16 used book stores and "upscale" thrift shops. Home to this gem: 




  Something I would've been interested in in college. But whatever. Oh! a Starbucks. I was jonesing for some passion tea that costs me $2.83 instead of spending $4.00 to buy a box of tea. Whatever, my teeth still hurt from my dental operation the day before. So I sit down at one of the tables outside so I can people watch and text. It was a really nice day and the girl next to me was removing her nail polish. I thought I'd revel in the beauty of the day. There are only two tables outside and the nail polish girl was hogging one because at this point, her friend showed up and I was at the other one so there was one empty chair in between the girls and me. This guy comes up and asks if anyone is sitting there and if he can sit down, sure, I said and in my mind thought  as long as you don't talk to me. Of course, he started talking to me after a minute. I don't even remember what about but I found out he was a car salesman. He was wearing reflective aviators and a white shirt and some douchebag jeans. Then we talked about Pittsburgh and his job and how I live in Shaler. Then he just randomly says "do you know what a ladylock is?" I do, it's a pastry with cream in the middle. Then he jumps up and says "I'm going to get one, do you want one?" I said sure because why would I pass up free food? He comes back like five minutes later with this huge box and he's like "you're going to die laughing when I open this box" Of course, I fake laughed when he opened the box and there was a cake-sized lady lock.



 Then we started eating it, obviously. People kept stopping to see what we were doing. It was all pretty embarrassing. He said the thought it was cool because apparently most people would've told him thanks but no thanks I don't want a random person to buy me a pastry that is only in Pittsburgh. I guess he didn't notice that I was fat (I was sitting down the whole time). Then we talked for a few more minutes and I told him I had to go because my parking meter was about to run out. That was true, but I really just wanted to leave. 

Then I walked around for a few minutes and went back into the store. They told me that they would call me when my iPod was ready at this point it was about 5:30 and it'd been an hour. I still walked around and waited. But then my personal phone died (still had my work phone to tell me the time), so I just sat in the store. around 6:05 I asked how much longer it was going to be because my parking meter was going to run out again at 6:10. He told me ten minutes. 15 minutes later I come back and wait for about 5 minutes and finally get my iPod back. It still doesn't hold a charge. 

Then I went home and had pizza and watched Dance Moms. Then I went to bed and spent 3 hours watching videos of cats on Vine. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

i'm begging you to be my escape.

How did you get one of your scars? 
Well... my favorite one is the three inch scar I have on my arm from when I got attacked by Cassandra while I was working at Bradley. I told her it was bed time and she threw a PS2 controller at my face and then lunged at me. I had to participate in her restraint while I had blood dripping down my arm. 
How did you celebrate your last birthday? 
maybe it's because I'm 25 and getting really old..but I can't remember. I know I was at home for one celebration. Was I working? I really have no idea. I guess I was working at my current job. No...I was at work. I didn't tell anyone. But I don't remember what happened. 
How are you feeling at this moment? 
Like I need to be in bed so I can wake up on time tomorrow because I have to discipline a staff. ohhhh
How did your night go last night? 
Well...I went to an outlet mall and spent 90 at J. Crew. I did get a lot though (skirt, button down, silk tank top and a sweater). Then I approved case notes. 
How did you do in high school? 
Very average. 
How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? 
I was about to meet a boy and I realized that I hated what I was wearing, so I went out and bought a whole new outfit. And then three days later he told me he only wanted to have sex. On to the next one. 
How often do you see your best friend? 
Like never.
How much money did you spend last month?
I can't even talk about it. 
How old do you want to be when you get married? 
Maybe like 30 or 32
How old will you be at your next birthday?
I plead the 5th. 
What did you do last weekend? 
I went to a friend's birthday party on Friday, sat at home alone on Saturday and then hung out with my friend on Sunday. 
What is the most important part of your life? 
Work, unfortunately. Maybe passion tea lately. 
What would you rather be doing? 
I'd rather it was a Friday night. 
What did you last cry over? 
I almost cried because I was so stressed when I was talking to my wannabe lover that I have to keep secret. 
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? 
Shopping and cats. And strawberry milk. Or beer. 
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? 
Someone who isn't an asshole. Someone that has at least decent grammar and someone that thinks I'm the greatest thing that ever came about. 
What are you worried about? 
Work like always. And the fact that I have to get my teeth worked on tomorrow. 
What did you have for breakfast?
Bran muffin. 
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? 
Of course. 
Have you ever had your heartbroken? 
Maybe like half broken once. But now I'm thinking that was stupid to let myself get upset about that when I'm not the type to get upset about that. 
Have you ever been out of the country? 
Niagara Falls. Whoo
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? 
Nope. I pick some good friends. 
Have you ever had sex on the beach? 
Take a guess. 
Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Mmhm. Bad idea. 
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Tons of times. 
Who was the last person you saw? 
Jay
Who was the last person you texted? 
Chris. 
Who was the last person you hung out with? 
Mike.
Who was the last person to call you? 
My boss. She called while I was at a bar. Fun times. 
Who did you last hug? 
that's funny. 
Who was the last person you said “i love you” to?
Harry
Where did you last go? 
The Library. A bar, not where you rent books. 
Where did you last hang out? 
I guess The Library. 
Where do you go to school? 
I don't. 
Where is your favorite place to be? 
Depends. But I like being at my house in MD watching movies and stuff. Or eating popcorn. 
Where did you sleep last night?
My brand new bed that just came in yesterday. 
Do you like someone right now? 
mmhm. 
Do you think anyone likes you? 
yes.
Do you ever wish you were someone else? 
Do you know me?
Does the future scare you?
Not really. I'm not super optimistic about it, so I know how it's going to turn out. 
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
They all just like me because I'm awesome. 
If you could have one super power what would it be?
Freezing time. Or the ability to remember what people say. 
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? 
Nah, I don't have one huge regret or anything. Just a bunch of little ones that don't really matter anymore. 
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? 
I'll say no, but we all know sometimes you can't help it. I just can't say no. 
Are you happy with your life right now?
Not really. But what can you do?


Sunday, September 8, 2013

Okay, thanks. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Two Door Cinema Club - Changing of the Seasons



Here's your new favorite song.
I liked their first album, then the second one sorta sucked. The next one looks promising cause of this song

no we're never gonna quit it

You know, I might not be the hardest worker, or the most dedicated, or the smartest, but let me tell you one thing-- I don't complain to my supervisors. I'm just thinking back to when I was a TSS. That's when I worked with Ali and Brad.. (and Maria, but I was a Hab Aide when I was with her). Okay, I had no experience with a.) kids b.) people with special needs c.) kids with special needs. You know what? I figured it out. I didn't have people sitting next to me holding my hand saying "do this, do that". It's trial and error. Brad was usually fine and his mom would help me sometimes. He used to throw fits and lay on the floor and moan and I'm like "what the hell is happening??!!" and then you would have to be forceful with him, but not scream at him and he did what you needed him to do. Not always at first and sometimes he wouldn't do anything at all. He would just lay on the floor and groan. Then his mom would shoot him up with Tylenol and she'd tell me I could leave. 
Then there's Ali. He sort of made me feel like I was in a tornado all the time. You'd think you had him calmed down, but you were wrong. You'd be playing with blocks and then he would dart out of the room. Sometimes he would tear open his glass door and jump off the balcony. I liked when we took him to the park and he got away and I had to roll down a hill trying to chase him. Did I complain? No. I mean I did, but I wouldn't tell my BSC (that's Behavior Supports Coordinator ie my supervisor) that this kid was crazy and I couldn't deal with him. NO I JUST DID MY JOB. 
I always do whatever I need to do. I used to drive an hour sitting in traffic just to work a 2 hour shift. These assholes that I have working for me will say "that's a half hour away" and I'm like "you're working with them for 5 or 6 hours". Then they say "no that's too far. Find something that's two feet from my house". Get the hell out of my office. 
I hate managing people. I just don't understand how you can suck so much. 

Anyway,  life sucks then you die. 



Probably really late with this, but the singers voice. I'm good. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

You're Welcome


Watching Teen Mom 3. 
All of these moms are ugly and boring. No offense to them. It's like too much drama but not in a good way. Like a white trash drama ordeal. No more Janelle's and Amber's. 
Lovin' it and hatin' it at the same time.
You know when someone you used to hang around with in like 2011 and then they stopped talking to you so they could hook up with some chubby, chipmunk looking girl and then they think they can message you. I'm bored. I'm at the point in my life where I'll only date someone that takes me to dinner on at least a weekly basis. Food comes first, then your feelings. 


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I'ma need a day off, I think I'll call Ferris up.

Woe is me. Woe is me. Woe is me. 
I'm sorry you had to hear me complain. 
I'm not sure what's wrong with this minute, this week, this month, this year. 
Okay, the year hasn't been horrible, just the last few weeks. And I wish I could be like "my boyfriend broke up with me", you know, the only real excuse to be crying yourself to sleep... But, naw, no boy drama. I only have positive boy vibes at the moment. It's just work. I'm hoping it gets better. People keep telling me that it will get better. And I realize that, but sometimes I get in my 15 year old mind and all I can think about is right now. I do like to build things up in my mind and think that what is about to happen is a lot worse than what is happening. 
What can you do?
Eat?
Yep. 
I spent the whole 3 day weekend lounging around. While I did shower every day (big surprise for those who know me), I didn't even put on makeup. It makes life so much easier, you know? I wore sweats the whole weekend. I wore a dress out to Cheesecake Factory and then I wore it again today. But really, what do people at work care what I look like? 

I need some more new music. Everything that I have sort of sucks. I'm sure there isn't anything good anyway. Here's a month of pictures on my iPhone
I pulled a 15 year old and put lights all around my bed. You're welcome. 

Brought to you by the geniuses at Old Navy

Went to the Pet store and stared at cats for a while. 

Oh look, friends. 

I thought my nails were pretty cool. I picked them all off last night though while I was watching Awkward.