Thursday, April 25, 2013

I only wanted fall and you've got me all fucked up on love.

I'm not sure why I always worry about things so much when everything always works out in the end. I stress about the smallest things, and always, my issues work themselves out. But there's really no fun in being optimistic. Do you know what I mean? If you think that everything is going to work all of the time, then there's no surprise.  I spend a lot of my time thinking of ways everything could go wrong, but is there really anything wrong with that? I think not.
I'm going to try to go to the gym. I was eyeing up J.Crew bathing suits and...not this year, sir. I'm going to have to shop at Catherine's or something. Torrid maybe. Can you tell the extra time that I don't use worrying about things I spend on thinking I'm obese. Only some days, most days I don't care. Well, gym it is tonight. No ice cream but I did have candies. Eek. It's not like I need my pants to for or anything.
I told my boss about all of my relationship woes today. I just like to talk about myself and my problems.  We were sitting in a day long management meeting and I just about had my fill. I can't wait until tomorrow when I can have a whole day to myself (oh wait, I just remembered two things I have to do for consumers). Almost a whole day to get my overflowing stack of filing and completing nonsense done. Oh what's. day in the life? 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name

Work is still really stressful.
I should probably work out since I'm continuing to gain weight at an alarming rate. Just a continual upward spiral. Fall Out Boy is still the only good thing in my life. Just can't stop listening. It calms me down when everything else makes me mad.
I'm still working on this whole telling people I'm angry when I'm angry instead of ignoring imams waiting for the bad feelings  to go away. Well, it's hard so for now I m just going to not say anything. It's different than ignoring the problem, people. When you ignore the problem, you just say "haha" and move on to the next subject. When you opt to not say anything, you just don't respond when someone says something that is rude. Now it's "when you make a mistake, you can realize it and fix it" then you can get back to me. This won't last long. And I sometimes think that's miss being with certain people because they never made you feel like crap for the way you look, but I think I would rather have someone who does that than someone who treats you like shit in general and treats you like you don't matter. But then again, I have my reasons for being attached to certain people. It's a lot easier to be friends with someone before you start dating them so they know what they're getting into.
Okay I'm sorry, I'm done ranting. It's very human of you to listen to my problems.

Anywho, I got some Lush stuff but I don't have a picture of what I got. I got ocean salt again and then I got some rose smelling body conditioner that I've been waiting to try. We finally got a Lush store at the mall so now I don't have to drive downtown or spend $8.00 for shipping. I also bought some mascara from BareMinerals. A skirt and a sweater. I ordered two new pairs of shoes from online. I hope they fit or I'll be mad. One of them are polka dot, so come on.

Well I'm off to listen to more Fall Out Boy and hate myself some more. You should text me to keep me entertained.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

I'm outside your door, invite me in so we can go inside and play pretend.

You know when middle school cutters try to say that a band saved their life? That's how I feel about Fall Out Boy. Not that they saved my life, but I think that if I were to say that, I would say that Fall Out Boy was the savior. I feel so pre-teen admitting that I geeked out for the release on Tuesday, but whatever. Every single second of this CD (minus the Elton John part) is just beyond amazing to me. All I think about is listening to this CD. Do you know how happy I'm going to be when I'm dancing like a maniac at their concert in a few weeks? I think it's going to be the most blissful moment of my life. And I've already had that moment three other times, but still. Is that embarrassing to admit that I've been to multiple FOB concerts? Too bad.
I feel like I'm fairly stressed about all of these other facets of my life, but at least I have Patrick Stump to keep me sane.
Do you know how much food I had yesterday.
Arby's for lunch, Chinese for dinner, then beer galore and some pretzel sticks and then leftover breadsticks when I got home. Someone obviously wants to look like a mammoth in Denise's wedding pictures.

Marry me?

 You know when you think you have a solution to your problem, but then your solution ends up being much worse than expected. My life. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

See, I could have me a good girl And still be addicted to them hoodrats

Life Lessons by Kristen
1. Always carry cash: I unexpectedly ran into a turnpike while I was traveling for work this week. Did I have cash? No. You know what happens? You have to stop at the booth over on the side and bang on the door and awkwardly explain that you don't have cash. You annoyingly get asked if you have "loose change"...Don't you think I would've thought of that... Then the creepy toll guy has to scan your drivers license into some system, you sign a receipt and then you can go. And you owe the PA Turnpike $1.80.
2. Honk your horn: I need to start being more assertive. I have this problem with getting really upset about something three hours later. I don't realize it's wrong at the time, then I perseverate on the issue for days. I need to just react when something is happening. 
3. Just because it's in front of you, doesn't mean you need to eat it- I went to Burgatory today and got a milkshake. Then I got chips and a burger. And I was basically done when I finished the milkshake, but I ate it all anyway. Now I have a stomach ache and I can't move. I went to Oakmont with my uncle and we bought a cake. So I have that tonight. 
4. Don't get annoyed with everything- I'm still working on this. But my great aunt died yesterday and her brother (Uncle Bernie) and his sons are coming to stay with us. So I'm getting kicked out of my house. Not for one night, which would be fine. BUT FOR A WHOLE WEEK. Why do they need to stay so long? 
5. Don't let things linger-This is a combination of 3 and 4. I can't move on. But I need to. 
6. The grass IS greener on the other side- This is some stupid saying that old people say because they didn't have anything when they were younger. Or it makes them feel better about themselves. Well, I'm selfish and I hate when everyone else is happy and I'm not. I'm sorry guys.

I guess I should either work out or clean my room for Bernie and Co.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Animal Farm

Animal Farm
George Orwell
155 pages
2,401 total pages
Book #9

Animal Farm was a book that my Ashleigh and I used to use as a prop in our really weird games that we used to play. We used the animal commandments as some sort of code of conduct for a game that made no sense. And then I read it 15 years later. 
And it was what I was expecting. It read quickly and I liked it. In my attempt to read a whole list of classics, I'm starting with the shortest ones. What was this? An allegory? Communist pigs. 

Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men
John Steinbeck 
112 pages
2,246 Total pages
Book #8

I tried to read this book a few years back but never could get into it. Then my grandma and I were talking about how we need to start reading classics. Then Of Mice and Men came up. I said that I've always meant to read it and then I went out to the library and read it. I liked it enough. I can't see it being a very interesting movie. It was different than I expected. I was hoping and praying that it wouldn't end the way it did, but it did. And I cried. At the gym. Embarrassing. I think that everyone should read it. I'm sure it's got a lot of those analogies and metaphors and stuff. But as we all know, I like to read for the stories. And this was a good one. Short and sweet.

Sometimes it seems that i don't have the skills to recollect the twists and turns of plots that turned us from lovers to friends

My blog basically consists of nothing but pictures lately. And I'm sorry for that. I really just have nothing to say. I used to be able to take my anger and put it into words, but now it just comes out as jaw pain. 
I went to the dentist today and I was supposed to get an abnormal amount of cavities filled, but my insurance only covered 20% of it so I would've had to pay 650.00. And apparently it's so expensive because I wanted white fillings. Yes, duh. If I got silver fillings it would've only cost me 150.00. No sir am I opening my mouth and having colors other than white on my teeth. Call me vain, I don't care. 
So I walked out. I know I'm going to have to suck it up eventually and pay the money, but I wasn't in any sort of mood to throw down 650 right now. I was planning on getting a new computer with my tax refund but now it looks like I'll be filling my cavities. Either that or it needs to be payday because I don't even have 650 dollars in my bank account and I'm not using my credit card anymore. Well...that's the plan. 
Too bad I can't be on welfare.

In other news, I've been listening to a lot of Death Cab lately. That and Demi Lovato and Norah Jones. They all just know how I feel right now. Death Cab doesn't, but the music always fits my mood.

I had to take my favorite guy to the doctors yesterday. That was a hoot. Then I got to work today and made literally 97 phone calls and sent about 33 emails. I wanted to shoot myself. All with a headache. 
But I got some new books from the library, so that'll be good. I also think that I lost a book. Oh Poe.

Here's my queen:


Monday, April 1, 2013

am I more than you bargained for yet?

So I'm back to eating chips. I haven't wasted any time. I'm about on my 3rd bag since Easter. Which if I remind you, was yesterday.
I'm at the point almost where I've seen every episode of Love It or List It. 
That's so very depressing. 
 Who doesn't love a good mix between Poe and Jay-Z? I do.
 My aunt got these dogs. I normally really don't like dogs, but these were perfect.
 There's some gross, fat girl throwing her bert.

 Ash throwing hers.
 Alex's turn.
Trying to recreate last year's adorable picture, but it didn't work because I look gross.