Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'd pay the devil to replace her.

You know what I'll never understand? Why no one I know reads. I'm not trying to sound all high and mighty, but for as much as we all hate our lives, reading is the best escape on the planet. Even if you read those Shopaholic type books, how nice is it to be someone else for a while? Not even to be someone else, I don't know, just not have to deal with what's going on in your life. This is something I'll never understand. Not sitting here saying that I want to be someone else or anything, but it's nice to have the escape. I can't think of another way to put it. I'm not going to sit here and say that I hate TV, but I think that my imagination is 100 times better than anything that some director can think up. Usually. When I go into a library it's like crack. I need it, I want more and more and more. Nothing will ever be enough. I could just look at books, I could read, I could talk about books all day. 
You people explain how you don't like it. 

In that same vein, I'm reading Madame Bovary. It's slow going, not because I don't like it but because I'm sort of blah as of late and reading is somehow too straining. I don't want to hold the book up. But I just read a page about how Emma Bovary is talking to this guy, Leon, about books. Her husband says "My wife doesn't care much about it... She prefers to stay in her room all the time and read, even though she's been told to exercise".
Me too, Emma. Me too.

But do what you will. I'm just telling you that it's nice to get really into reading. Just saying.

Light of my life

I would like someone to give me a legitimate reason why I can't be Mindy Kaling.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Did you say she was pretty and did she say that she loves you? Really I don't want to know.

I'm perfectly cognizant of the fact that not one person who reads this blog could give a crap what music I listen to and what my favorite albums are. But I've been thinking about this the past week, what my favorite albums are, and I thought I'd share. I tried and tried to come up with 10, but it's too hard. I don't even know what my criteria is for being a "favorite album" but I think to me it's just what albums I like so much I honestly can't pick a song that I like the best. And that I like every single song equally. Also, none of these are in order. 

Tokyo Police Club
This might honestly be my all time favorite album. I've written about it 900 times and I'm certain that none of you have given it a listen. BUT YOU SHOULD. I don't know why I love this band so much but I love them so much that I hardly even remember them. Maybe that doesn't mean they're my favorite band. Or maybe it just means that I don't take music as seriously as I used to. Or maybe I'm just really good and I don't play favorites. The first time I heard this band, I don't remember, but it was their second album, Elephant Shell, when I was either a sophomore or junior in college. I don't know how I happened to fall into this amazing band, but I'm glad I did. It was one of those things where I liked an album and it was paired ever so perfectly with a book. I read American Psycho and I can't even explain the perfection. Then from there it was love. I think that Champ is even 10 times better than Elephant Shell. Usually when you like a band you love their early work and then as time progresses, you start to not like it. Not the case. They get better with age. They did a cover album last year, it's good. 

The Strokes
Room on Fire

Any CD that has a song on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack is good for me. I don't remember when I first heard this album either. Maybe sometime in 10th or 11th grade. Maybe later? I'm not sure. I love every song, obvs. It's perfect. All catchy. All perfect. They all are a perfect backdrop for me when I pretend that my life is a movie.

From Under The Cork Tree
Fall Out Boy

I think this is my favorite FOB album. Could possibly be Foile a Deux, but I'm not sure. Fall Out Boy has to be on this list for several reasons. How do I still love a band after so many years? I love everything they've ever done. I know that I'm a loser for having this on my list, but get over it, it's my list. This was my everything in high school. 

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Kanye West

This was also a hard decision; which Kanye album to put on my list. As you all know, I love him with every beat of my heart. I think that I picked this one because of "Runaway". That song is probably the most beautifully composed song ever in existence. Say what you will, but it's gorgeous. While I, embarrassingly, know every word to every song on The College Dropout, it doesn't compare. On this one, Kanye is in a world of his own, away from all other musicians. Don't know how to explain it. Every second of this album is perfect. Words can't even describe it. One time I read in People magazine that My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was the number one best album of 2010 or of the first 10 years of the 2000's. When I read that I was like "I think The College Dropout is way better". And then I gave it another listen because at first I didn't really like it. It was too sing-songy compared to his other work. I'm a believer. 

And that's it. Right now that's all I can think of.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

i went to a wishing well, sank to the ocean floor.

I feel like I hardly blog anymore and when I do, it's stupid annoying nonsense. So for that I am deeply sorry. I realize that no one cares or is even troubled by it.

Things of semi-imporatnce:

My computer is being retarted. I don't know who it thinks it is but I'll be typing and it'll just stop when it feels like it. Then sometimes my screen will think it's a Oujia board and just move the cursor of its own free will. I have to chase it around the screen with my mousepad. Then it'll take about 13 seconds to delete something. So it's really annoying since I failed typing in 10th grade and I suck at typing. Sometimes it'll take another 13 seconds for me to see the sentence that I'm typing. It'll be invisible and then all of the sudden a whole paragraph will appear with a thousand little red lines cause I suck at typing and I have errors galore.

I have no money, suprpise surprise. HELP ME I'M POOR.

I just got the newest Blink-182 CD because Ashleigh reminded me about it. I feel sort of betrayed because it's not Blinkish at all. Its almost soley Angels and Airwaves plus a small amount of +44. I realize that you disbanded, sang some new songs with some new people and then came back together for a tour and an album.  Still, I want some more small things or at least on the same course aas "I Miss You". It's so different from their roots I hate it. So far I really like "Wishing Well" and "After Midnight" with that said.

And I'm giving up with this computer. I can't do anymore blogging today.

Friday, November 23, 2012


So I'm on Facebook and I keep reading all this shit that people are thankful for. I know you have a perfect life, stop rubbing it in my face. Please and thank you.
You want to know what I'm thankful for, really?
I'm thankful that I have a bag of Cheetos and that I'm getting paid time and a half. I'm not thankful for being stuck at work or missing yet another holiday cause I have a shitty job.
I am thankful for books and lush face wash and laundry detergent and Chapstick. I'm thankful for China Bistro II in Glenshaw, PA. I'm thankful for Crest whitestrips and mouthwash
I'm thankful for Holden Caulfield and text messaging. I'm thankful I don't pay rent or car insurance. I'm thankful for John Mayer and my iPod. Sharpies, crayons and Cliff bars. Water,coffee, tea. Yellow tulips (that no one will ever get me) sarcasm and my Michael Kors wallet. Black tights, skinny jeans, mermaids. The fact that I'm hilarious, I have some cool friends and my family does everything for me because im too stupid and lazy to do it. I'm sort of thankful I have someone paying attention to me even though its not the right kind of attention.

This 17 year old resident just got cheated on and so she keeps talking to me about it and instead of being all therapeutic about it I'm just like "be mad and upset about it for as long as you need to. You'll get over it eventually". I've never really been one to talk about my emotions or feelings or anything like that. I never used to even tell people about my life. Especially about boys. I just started admitting to having boyfriends last year and that was a bad idea. It's so much easier to get over things when it only exists to you. You can pretend like it didn't happen, cause no one knows it did. Talking about your problems is like eating Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop. No one cares about them but once it's out there, it has to stay out there. That's why I never really got therapy. You always come to the conclusion yourself and figure out your problems on your own anyway so why not just think logically for ten minutes and save yourself thousands of dollars. Maybe I just understand myself well enough to know what I need. That sounded very big of me, I'm sorry.

Another unfortunate trait of mine is that I'm convinced that déjà vu is dreams you've had. I had proof of this so don't think I'm crazy. I just remember small things from my dreams. Then they happen in real life.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

These scars of mine make wounded rhymes tonight I dream of times when you were mine so I Can keep it like a haunting Heart beating close to mine

Is anyone else about to flip shit because of all of these ads on their computer? 
I can't take it anymore and if I wasn't constantly getting music from the library, then I'd never use this stupid thing. 
Also, you know when you're talking to someone and you can't think of anything until two days later and you come up with the perfect answer? If conversations consisted of someone giving you a page of questions and you having a pen and about 20 minutes to answer each one, the world would be a much happier place. Well, mine at least.

Today I went to get Chinese with my friend. I got General Tso's Tofu cause I'm like some sort of mock vegetarian.  And then I got yet another peppermint mocha at some pretentious coffee shop... Someone please stop me. 

Currently listening to: 
Lykke Li-Sadness is a Blessing

could of been a princess, you'd be a king.

You know what I just realized? I'm the only person I know that reads as much as I do and doesn't have an E-Reader (other than my Grandma) and that drinks as much coffee as I do and doesn't have a Keurig. I'm just stuck in the 20th century. Which, without a doubt, was the best century ever.
I ate out twice yesterday (yikes) and I'm going to eat out again tonight. Thank heavens I don't have to pay for any of it though.

That's just me and my messy room. Me reading Bristol Palin's book. An adorably, unnecessary shirt from BR. A spider ring that one of my kids gave me. He's so cute.

My hands are already at that point in the winter where they spontaneoulsy break open. No matter how much lotion I put on them, they open up at will.

I had off yesterday and I did nothing but lock my keys in my car, talk with my old supervisor about my old job, wear a sorta cute outfit for once, eat out with a friend at a Chinese place, eat out with my aunt and Alex at some super fancy place where I had ravioli filled with wild boar. It was every bit as amazing as it sounds. 

Like I mentioned, I drink a lot of coffee. I've never really drank this much coffee before and it's wreaking havoc on my teeth. They're pretty darn yellow. So I started flossing twice a day, religiously, and the yellow is slowly leaving. I need to stop drinking the coffee but I can't. I'm at the point where I cant function without it. And my teeth hate it, but whatever. It's not like anyone is looking at me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

just let me mother fucking love you

Call me a loser for still liking The All-American Rejects, but dang. Just take a minute to appreciate this song. It is basically everything. If I was in a talent show and I could sing, I would totally belt out the acoustic version of this song. I'm sorry. I would.

Speaking of music, I feel so out of the loop. All of these new songs and bands are on YouTube but I've never heard of any of them. Maybe back in the day when all I cared about was finding new music and it seemed like your coolness factor directly correlated with how quickly you found the newest obscure band. I'm just at that point in my life where I like what I like when I like it. So, I'm sorry. You're getting music from 2011. How regrettable.

I like this song ^^ :]
Any song that sounds like a lullaby but says "mother fucking" about 14 times is cool to me. It's a cover of The Weeknd's song "Wicked Games". I'm in love with it.

I hate to be so emotional.

I've got no life. 
I'm bored out of my mind. 
I realize it's sort of "cool" to have 4 days off in a row, but when you have no friends, like your job and get a hypochondriacs version of anxiety about sitting around, it's not fun. 
I really hate it. 
I haven't done anything in three days.
I'm going to make my Christmas list and I'll put a link up somehow. 
All I've done the past three days is watch Love It or List It and it seems like day number 4 is going to be in the same vein. I'm going to get Chinese food today. Cause I deserve it for being so bored and fat. 
I spent the entire morning unsubscribing myself from emails. 
Come on. 

I'm on Dexter #2 (Darkly Dreaming Dexter) and from what I remember, it's nothing like Season 2. But if we recall, I have the worlds worst 
 I painted my nails and I think my new favorite color is Essie's "Devil's Advocate". For a while it was O.P.I's "Samoan Sand" because Kimmy K wore it (or that's what an online blog said was closest to the color she gets her nails done a lot). Obviously I needed it. Anyway, Devil's is a really dark purple. It's almost black but it stays pretty shiny. Except for the fact that I can't wait until my nails dry so they're all scuffed up. I'm also horrible at painting my nails.

I don't know. I'm about to attempt to get the energy to go to the gym. But I doubt that's going to happen any time soon. My stupid cloud still isn't updating to my computer, so I'm mad about that. That means you get a collage of my ugly pictures that I took in like 2010 because I haven't taken any since then. Sucks I suck at photography, but I liked those flowers, so you get 'em. 

In music news, I'm on a shuffle-run. I got New Found Glory's newest CD, Radiosurgery and it's not that good. They peaked with Sticks and Stones. I also got a Lil Wayne CD and I like two of the songs on that album. Cause I know you were dying to know. And anyway, I'm still obsessed with the Kings of Leon song "Pickup Truck"

Happy Day.
I'm sorry I'm ugly but doze are my nails, horribly painted, of course. Of course. And my awesome new robe which I basically live in. Holla. IM me cause I'm too lazy to charge my phone. And I should start wearing makeup again butttt.....

Saturday, November 10, 2012

get a life

Why in the world would anyone ever question why I am going to grow up to be Dorthy Zbornak? Why?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm sorry for wasting your time.

So there is this resident at work and we'll call him "John". He's technically MR but everything he does makes me laugh. You can't understand a word he says and it always comes out jumbled. For example, if he was saying "can I use the bathroom" it would come out something like "hehheyearum" and you just say yes. Anyway, John likes to flip the bird a lot. Like all the time. If you say "hey what's up", you're likely to get the middle finger. And he does it so casually, that's my favorite part. It's just up and then down. I'm assuming he doesn't get it's connotation. But my point is, this is how I want to live life. And you know I think that the use of the middle finger is about the lowest form of argument one can make, it feels good sometimes. Fuck everything, you know. Be mad when you're supposed to be mad. Hating people is okay. Just don't show it. Do a causal "fuck you" in your mind. It'll make everything better and then people still think you like them so no harm done.

Also, you know that moment when you realize that you're not wanted but you can't leave? You know the conversation is over but you don't want it to end? You know your cue is to end it but you won't. Yep

I have a 4 day weekend and nothing to do. Probably going to play sims and eat. And eat.

Also also, is it weird that one of the residents reminds me of this boy I used to go around with. No, the weird thing is that this specific resident is an 11 year old girl. But then again I also find 18 year olds in beanies and skinny jeans to be attractive. We all have our flaws. And I'm also the loser who has the love of her life say two words to her and she's smitten for the rest of the day.

My life is embarrassing

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Just so you know I was thinking of you. Just so you know, ooh.

Here are some randos that have been on my phone that you probably have no desire to see, but here they are.

The guy from One Direction, right? OOOMG his poor life. What was this doing in one of those tween magazines?

I mean, really? I want one.

I'm going to go and say that this is the most ignorant tweet I've ever read in my life. And that says a lot with me using the word "ignorant" where it doesn't belong.

I can die in peace now. Three years mothaafuckaaa

So I decided to spend money that I don't have about two weeks ago and buy a Clarisonic. I like it so far, I guess. I need something to get rid of my blackheads and my acne scars, which seem to be my only problem as of late. I like the Clarisonic, but I'm sure I'll get bored with it. It's annoying and a lot of work for my lazy self. Also, none of my Lush cleansers work well with it. So we'll have to see how that unfolds. 
But in other skin news, I got this black mask from Bosica, and I honestly love it. I was reading reviews for a while and they all said that it was either amazing and did wonders for their skin, or it sucked. Usually with my luck, I end up with the latter. But I mean, I like it. Just like I am with everything, apathetic. It works, I think. I think that my face has a lot less crap in it. I guess only time will tell. I've been using it about twice a week and my blackheads look less black. I guess there is 24 years of unfortunate crap stuck in them so they won't be clean overnight. And then in the reviews all of these girls said that it was so hard to peel off. Not the case. I'm basically a buffoon when it comes to anything beauty related, but this was pretty easy. Just make sure you put on a layer of the black gunk thick enough that you can't see your skin. And when it peels off...well let me show you. It's not what I was expecting. Okay, I can't show you since for some reason my cloud is being a diva right now. None of my pictures are synching with my laptop. Maybe I need to update it...too much work though. Anyway, it just peels off in a black sheet. Sort of weird. If you want to see it, I'll text you the pictures.

Currently I'm listening to to this Kings of Leon song, "Pickup Truck". I really like the guys voice in Kings of Leon, but like all of their other albums I listen to like two songs that I like over and over and never listen to any of the other songs.

Enemy sleeps with me night or day Enemy teases every minute in my mind He's in my mind

Is it okay to admit that I haven't done anything in over a week other than:
- Work
-Play The Sims
-Read the first Dexter book
-Watch HGTV on mute

I'm going to say that it's not okay. But whatever, everything is stupid. I think I'm getting sick. I got bit in the shoulder on Sunday and it hurt. Like not an "omg that bitch bit me and it's bleeding" sort of hurt. Just the sort of hurt that makes your body feel sore. So, that's weird. I mean my nose has been running. So just an overall soreness. And that's probably due to not working out and eating like a maniac. I started a cleanse thing today. I've only done one of the packet things this morning and it made me get a headache. Also, I can't eat anything basically. And when I say basically I mean that. The only approved food that I have in this house are red apples. So I've had about 6 red apples. I tried to make a shake out of red apples and the soy milk I have. Didn't go so well. I hate red apples and also they're supposed to be organic. I'm pretty sure my Grandma would never buy organic anything. We so enjoy pesticides in this family.

Other than me being sick, I must be spending money like I have it. My credit card bill is twice what it normally is. So I'm just going to sit in this broken recliner, play Sims, watch HGTV on mute, stare out the window listening to Norah Jones and sobbing. 

Norah Jones. I know that none of you listen to her, but this newest album that she has out is beyond magical. I love it so much. I like to think that God or whoever sends me albums at the exact moment that I need them. My friend Rudy was telling me for months to get Little Broken Hearts and I was always just too lazy to illegally download it. When the library finally let it fall into my hands was when I needed it. I mean, not like I needed it, it just gave me a lot of blog titles and tweets, because I'm guessing that Ms. Jones went through the same thing that I did. I didn't need saving or anything all "your music helped me through so much, it saved my life" nonsense. And I really hate when my feelings can align with Taylor Swift because that makes me feel pathetic, so Norah it is. And she's beautiful and she has an amazing voice. Must be nice. I've never really listened to her older stuff other than, like, "Sunrise" and I don't know if I want to. I have another album of hers that I have on shuffle, and I like it, it just seems likes it's geared more towards older people. Like the type of people that you'd expect to like John Mayer-other than frat guys- you know? Little Broken Hearts is, I don't know, maybe a little more indie pop. Better music, too. And a little less cheery. I don't want to listen to you singing about making coffee in the morning. I like songs about a guy cheating on you and then you getting revenge by killing him and his secret paramour. Just saying. However, I like when Dolly sings a song with Norah. That's cute.