Thursday, August 30, 2012

I'm holding on to a thing that's wrong and we don't belong, but you like my songs. And you make me happy. Does she make you happy?

Just in case you were curious (and I know you are) about what I've been listening to...
Here it is:

"I'm on Fire"- Bruce Springsteen
Little Broken Hearts- Norah Jones
"Walt Grace's Submarine Test, January", "I'm on Fire"- John Mayer
"Jewel Eyed Judy"- Fleetwood Mac

I can't stop listening to this Norah Jones CD. I sort of think that Norah wrote an album for me. Gosh, I love when that happens.  I realize that I'm always late but I can't help it takes forever to get newer CD's from the library and I don't pay for music unless it's John Mayer. Speaking of, I still have no idea whether or not I like his newest CD, Born and Raised.  I'm very back and forth with this. I like some of the songs, but not enough to hear them on repeat. Anything he does is amazing, but this is weird. I realize you're changing, baby, but come on. Don't leave me like this. I bought the CD the day it came out...and that was when I was still employed with Worst Buy...and it's taken me this long to actually put it on my computer. So that doesn't say very much for you, John.

You know what I'm dying to own?
A friggin digital watch that isn't ugly as all get out. 
Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I tell time like a kindergartner. I have severe time telling anxiety. I can do it when I'm not under pressure and no one is watching me. But I need a watch for work. My phone is always in some desk or on a couch or chair somewhere and there will be a restraint and I have to document it but Lord knows what time it is. That's why I need a watch. But can you imagine me trying to figure out what time it is when all of that is going on? I couldn't do it. So I bought some ugly watch from WalMart and I cringe when I put it on, but it's a necessary evil. So my new mission in life is to find a cute digital watch. Nothing else, really. 

Also, I'm pretty sure like three weeks ago when I was in the mall every mannequin was wearing some navy blue polka dot pants. The last two and a half weeks I have been in every mall in this friggin' county and I have yet to come across a pair. Someone please explain this. Or buy me a pair of polka dot jeans that are under 40 dollars.
It's whatever though. I'll just wear sweatpants cause that's what I wear to work and regular pants don't fit anymore. And I'm honestly not kidding. I can't even with the weight I've gained in the past year. 

You tried to replace me but didn't get far. I tried to repay you butonly got scarred.

So I made this collage in the hopes of chronicling my hair stages but all it really did was make me realize that that only time I take pictures of myself is in the Best Buy bathroom or with my face in a lemony squint. Shwoops.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Some boys don't know how to love

I got mah hurr did again. Just a lighter blond color. Pardon my boobs. When you get fatter, they get huge. Such a shame. This stupid iPhone doesn't really do it justice though. My hair seems a lot lighter than it was...

Saturday, August 25, 2012

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the Middle of my head

So I fell out of my bed last night.
I'm not sure how it happened, but I woke up and I was kneeling so I could fix my blanket and then I just fell. On my knees. To the floor. It was weird. I don't think I had a weird dream or anything. I had a margarita, but I can't imagine that had anything to do with it.

This was it:

Friday, August 24, 2012

I need you like you're a host and when I'm done, it's done.

I had another weird dream again. Godzilla was attacking my town. Something was burning. My mom, dad and Ashleigh were all with me and I commandeered a white jeep and we somehow fit all of our possessions into 3 milk crates and drove away. Maybe to safety? Who knows.

I feel like I've been doing really well lately but this morning there have been a lot of annoying things I don't want to see. Like i tweeted, maybe I just need to get off social media. I cant stand anyone except the people I see off Twitter. Here's to me taking a break. I'll still tweet cause goodness knows I can't stop that, but less reading of others tweets. Hopefully I can drink tonight. I've been called a bitch about 46 times this morning and it's only 8:30. All I'm thinking about is sleeping. I'm wearing sweats to work because I'm classy like that.

The only positive thing about today is I got paid and I got 150 dollars more than I normally get. I mean that doesn't sound like a lot to you people who have good jobs, but that's a lot to me. I guess this means I'm getting my hair did earlier than I thought. And I mean, thank god because my roots are pretty bad.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Funny how a melody sounds like a memory.

I really have nothing to write about, but since I've been a bloggin' fool for the 6 people a day that venture on to my blog, here's some more:


I made some yummy sangria last night with my friend Whitney. It was cute. I like her cause we have a lot of the same problems.

 This is considered the World's Classiest Sangria ever made due to the fact that we made it in a huge bucket because that's all we could find at Giant Eagle. Please note how awesome I am at cutting up fruit...In my defense, the only utensil I had was a generic knife.
 That's how unprofessional it looked. Whatevs. I'm not a Pinterest Princess. Nothing has to look pretty.
Not going to lie though, it turned out really yummy. Not like making sangria is rocket science or anything. I just need a carafe now to make it cuter. And mason jars. And probably some twinkly lights. Oh and a porch. This is all too much to ask, I realize. Eek.

I have to get ready for work, but I'm not into that right now. I'd rather be blogging.

I also went for a 6 mile walk with my friend Patty yesterday. She just got promoted. It's cute how much everyone else that I know has a life that seems to work out all the time. I'm totally kidding, it's not cute at all. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

i used to say "never say never"

I just pulled a Miley.
Okay, my version of a Miley. 

It feels like all of my hair is gone.
But, whatever. It needed to go. It was horribly ugly and at the point where it couldn't be saved. I'm now pulling a Katy Heron and sucking out all of the venom in my life. Okay, I'm not really. You get the idea. 
I need to go back and get some more color but the girl that I like didn't have any appointments today. And I'm too lazy and unorganized to plan things out in advance so I always call at 10 when salons open and say that I'd like the first appointment with whoever. I don't really care. The lady that I had today was nice. Older. She put way too much product in my hair but she at least acknowledged that I have really thin hair. Stylists always say "yeah, you do have pretty thin hair". Yes. I'm basically balding. I'm never going back to her because it was way too expensive. I like this girl at Bliss Salon because she only charges 28 dollar and I've always been a fan of her work. And she talks about herself the whole time and her life is crazy so I feel better about my life. It's just too far away. This new place I've been going to is like 20 feet from my house so that's always a plus. 

And P.S., I'm still in love with
I'm almost done.


Sunday, August 19, 2012

I'm just the same as I was.

I'll go ahead and tell you about my day yesterday.

I worked on my favorite unit and we played wii all day. Then I went to the mall to wait for my friend Steph to pick me up so we could go to Marissa's house. While I was at the mall, I TOLD myself that I wasn't going to get Chinese but I did anyway.

We drove to Ohio and when we pulled up we had no idea where to park and had some awkward times. Then we just hung out with Marissa and walked around looking awkward. Marissa bought me some taco doreets which almost made me want to die because they don't sell them in Pittsburgh for some reason. So we ate almost the whole bag. Then sat around some more and Marissa and I ate half a cake.

The best decision of the night was made when we decided to go to the only bar in Scio city limits. This is a really small town and at 11 pm we were the youngest people in that bar by 20 years. Apparently there were two weddings going on that day so all of the people our age were attending that.

We were standing around with our don't talk to us" stance when some old man talked to us. He came up next to me and was like "hi I'm Jason." Jason was 42 and was wearing really tight wranglers, white tennis shoes, a cowboy hat and those weird earrings that 13 year old boys wear until they realize that they're gay. Anyway, the three of us just sort of stared at a wall. Then he introduced his friend Tim. Again we stared at walls until he walked away.

We bought a beer with the money Marissa's mom gave us. Then when we went up again, some man named tucker bought drinks for everyone in the bar. Then Jason bought us beer. Then Tucker bought another round for the bar. Then when I came back from the bathroom, there were about 15 beers on the table.

The funny thing about this bar is they only have beer in cans.
They only have beer.
In cans.
At least they had my favorite. When I got back from the bathroom there was a lot of gross beer; bud light, miller lite, etc. so I didn't drink that crap. The only crap I want is PBR and that's cause that's all I had for a year.

Anyway, the three of us had these fake persona's made up in case anyone talked to us. Jason asked if we wanted to play pool. I'm a wet blanket so I said no. Marissa passed. So we forced Steph to play. Jason totally did that awkward thing where a guy gets behind a girl to help her play pool. Yeah. That happened. Tim was talking to Marissa and I was sitting alone on a corner cause I'm not pretty enough to get hit on. Tim called me the silent leader of the group though. Thanks?
This is coming from a man who met Steph and said "you must be smart. You're wearing those smart people glasses". He also had no teeth.

Then we walked home. It took about 30 seconds.

Then Steph drove me back to the mall. She was too tired to drive so she got off at this random exit and pulled over. She thought it would be a good idea to take a 5 minute nap. And then get out of the car and walk around and check her tires. Oh then some huge truck pulled over and I watched this guy out and all I could think of was "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" by Flannery O'Connor. We were going to die. He wobbles over and pulls out his iPhone and the flashlight app and tells Steph he thinks her tires look fine.

So we drove on our merry way. I thought my car was going to be towed since it was 2 am. It wasn't. I drove home and slept until 130. Now I'm at work. I got drawn on with a green marker.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

You can paint that house a rainbow of colors, rip out the floorboards, replace the shutters

Because I know you all are so interested in my dreams, I'll tell you them.

In my first one, it was basically real time, except Todd was getting married to this girl he used to date. For some reason I was invited to the wedding and so were my parents. Also, my friend Ellen but she couldn't come, so my GoGo went in her place. It was a weird venue that I can't really describe, but before the wedding was starting, he came over to talk to me. I was already sitting at my table where the reception would take place. On his way over he tripped on something and crashed into the table and hit his head and started going slightly insane. Then I woke up. I don't even know what to make of that.

THEN as if that wasn't weird enough I had a dream that is even harder to describe. We were sort of in Ashleigh's room in front of the windows but there was a marble slab like would be in front of a fireplace, but in front of the windows. Oddly enough, there were shower heads in the windows. What's even more odd is that there was a banquet table and a whole bunch of random people were having a feast, The Last Supper style. This was right in front of the window showers. Among the guests were my parents, sisters, my Uncle Rick, this resident from work and last but not least, a buff version of John Mayer. For some reason I HAD to take a shower and you can only imagine how difficult this was. My resident had to take a shower, too, so the whole thing was crazy. I don't think I got one, but buff John Mayer did talk to me and he said "your uncle is really annoying".

The dream ended with my dad helping me pick up my car from the shop. Who knows what was wrong with it, but we were in Wildewood and my dad almost killed us.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I can't

Get over how much I love The Newsroom. It's a show on HBO and it's the only thing that I can think of. There are these two relationships that I am in love with. My new obsession, Jim Harper, is the worlds most amazing man. I think I love him. I just love happy stories. I'm watching the episode where the US kills Bin Laden and I'm sort of jealous because it didn't affect me nearly enough as these guys. I guess it's sort of similar to the Bay of Pigs but obviously more successful. I always think that things that happen back in the day were more important.

I love how get home from work then wake up and I have mysterious cuts and bruises from these kids and I don't even know how it happened. You'd think I was a prostitute or something. I'm not, obviously.

I wish I was eating but I'm trying to lose weight, obviously. But it's gotten really bad lately, so...

I got to see Alaina and Marissa yesterday so that was pretty awesome!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

we are never ever ever getting back together.


 I used to be obsessed with setting the camera on continuous and then jumping in the air.

 And obviously weird things like this...
 And thinking I am gangsta.


 And I guess taking pictures in mirrors with Marissa. This was in Buca, one of the coolest restaurants. Or at least I think that it was. I think this was during my little's birthday dinner. Oh so much lol's


 Me thinking that I'm some sort of introspective photographer or somethin'.



 We were so cool. SMC is actually really pretty sometimes.


 This was always just the funniest picture ever. For several reasons.
 I just always liked this pictures. And I really miss those glasses. My uncle broke them on vacation that summer. But this is Warped Tour and why were my teeth so white? Can I get that back?


 See, I love jumping off things and taking unflattering pictures of myself. And look at that bitch next to me.
 I actually really liked this day. It was All Saint's Day. And for those of you who didn't go to a Catholic school, that basically means that no matter what day of the week Halloween is on, you can go out and party as much as you want because we don't have school the next day.

 This is just all too cute.
 Still cute.
 This is just basically a roll of Marissa and I. I feel like I was really skinny in this picture (for me at least) Let's get back to that, okay. Also, I think I've been a cat for like 16 of 23 Halloweens.
 Sometimes I can't contain how cool I am/was.
 I'm trying to keep it contained. It's hard. This place was actually really pretty. I just sort of ruin it with my mass amounts of self-photography session. No matter that there was a highway about 3 feet away from this.
 I'm glad Marissa didn't mind my really ridiculous obsession with self-photography when I looked horrible in every picture.
And I miss the days when we would get Taco Bell after every event and apparently document it. I miss that shirt, too. It was really really soft. God, now I want Taco Bell. 













I really miss the days when I thought I was really cool. I also had a lot more acne, so we have to weigh the pros and cons carefully.  

Also, I'm obsessed with the new Taylor Swift song. I just think it's really catchy. Stop being so cute, Taylor. There is a bag of empty cheetos that are giving me bad ideas. I really need to lose weight. I can't even grasp the fact that I gained so much weight. You don't really notice it until you look at pictures. It's horrible and I'm never going to find someone who wants to be with a blimp.


Monday, August 13, 2012

and watch sad movies and look for sad, sick people like me.

 Aww shucks. How cute is my little baby boy?
 And that's Alex hogging all of the pretty genes in the family gene pool.
 That's a salt mine.
And this is a horrible picture, but my friend took me here today. There's a waterfall and a whole bunch of fun stuff. A really pretty and nice trail. How I didn't know it existed is beyond me since it's about a mile away from my house...

Friday, August 10, 2012

I know it was me that called it over but I still wish you'd fought me till you're dying day.

I think that there are a lot of weird things about me. I don't consider myself to be a particularly strange person, but I get "haha you're so weird" on a daily basis, so it must be true to some extent. Anyway, the weirdest thing about me is how much I smile.
That probably doesn't sound weird (more emphasis would be made if I could italicize "weird" but I'm mobile blogging and I don't feel like HTMLing that) but if you knew me it would sound like an oxymoron somehow. Like if someone more clever than I could think of a witty way to say it. I get it a lot though, "you're always smiling". It's usually pretty genuine which is the weird part.
Yesterday a coworker said "you're always smiling. I like that." and just now this lady says "I like when you smile, it gives me so much energy. " I never thought of myself as a substitute for coffee, but hey, if the shoe fits.

It's sort of contradictory because 50% of the time people tell me I look sad. That is my biggest pet peeve. Don't tell me I look sad. It's not a compliment I can't help that my natural disposition is sour. I have sad eyes, I guess. And I always stand with my arms crossed which is a real people pleaser, let me tell you.

I don't know. I just smile when I don't know what else to do. So that means I'm smiling a lot. People generally seem to like it.

Cool things: I ate a Ruben last night and it was good.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Oh dear diary, I met a boy. He made my doll heart Light up with joy. Oh dear diary, we fell apart.

I've been so tired lately. 
I just downloaded a whole crap ton of CD's and I got a lot of new music from the library. 
I honestly wish that you could bottle the smell of the libarary and sell it. 
On that note, I'll write about some of the books that I've read recently.

Fifty Shades of Grey:
I'm sorry, this was a horrible book. I'm proud of myself for finishing it because that was a feat in itself. I needed some help to get over the fact that E.L James wrote it as fanfiction for Twilight. I think you probably know about my feelings about that franchise. It was so cheesy. I guess I don't have a romantic bone in my body, or so I've been told. That's not true. I think that romance only exists in a Salinger novel. Anyway, it was stupid. I can't get over that whole period scene and how annoying Ana was. HELLO AUTHORS, can we please get a realistic love story? Please...There is no way that someone like Christan Grey would like Ana Steele. I'm just so bored of this story. The sex scenes weren't even that good. I wish someone would agree with me. I keep bringing it up and everyone else who has read it is always like "Ohh I love that book" so I bite my tongue and end the conversation.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz:
No where near as good as the movie. I never ever ever say that. It could be that the Wizard of Oz has been my favorite movie circa 1991. Anyway, I learned a lot of new stuff and it took me about 3 hours to read, so it wasn't any skin off my nose. 

The Princess Bride:
This is another one where I should have read the book before I saw the movie. In my defense, I had no idea it was a book 10 years ago when I saw the movie. I was always too lazy to read it once I found out it was in fact, a book. Ashleigh got it for me for Christmas and I finally got around to reading it. It took me a while to read. I mean, it was over 400 pages but still. It had the same basic plot as the movie because the same guy wrote both. I liked it. I don't have much to say about it. 

 This is how I feel about certain people. And Jamie has seen the slightly hilarious collage I made with this and a picture of a whore.
 All I do is drink beer anymore. This beer is honestly one of my favorites ever. I went to this place in Slippery Rock last week with my Uncle, cousin Megan from California and some of my uncle's friends. I loved it so much I went back.
I brought George and he didn't trust my driving so I got really mad. He got the sampler of beer. I think we ended up trying every single beer they had (it's not a lot, only like 13 or 14). While we were at dinner, we figured out that I would like a Black and Tan, so we went to South Side where apparently there is a guy at one of the bars who is really good at pouring it. For some reason the power was out all down one side of the street so we went to Primanti's and the lady there sucked at making Black and Tan's and I hated it. I'm convinced that I would like it since it's basically my two favorite beers put together. 

Also, I'm sad and I hate everything. Some times people aren't what you think they are and I'm not going to make you change for me. I guess sometimes things don't work out the way you planned, hopefully it's for the best, but right now it doesn't feel that way.  But what else is new? At least I'm liking my new job and so glad that I'm not at Worst Buy anymore. That's the only positive thing I have going. Oh and Marissa and Alaina are coming to visit. So at least I have something to get me through my days.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Friday, August 3, 2012

plenty hoes in the balla-nigga matrix

I'm watching "What's Your Number?" with Anna Faris and it starts out exactly the same way as Bridesmaids...The main character wakes up next to some guy and she gets up before him and puts on makeup and does her hair etc. I wish I cared that much. I usually end up sleeping like 6 minutes the whole night because some asshat was snoring throughout and I'm too tired to move let alone put on more makeup. Anna Faris is the most annoying person on planet earth. She was only good in "Just Friends". There was way too much Anna Butt and I wasn't a fan. Nora Ephron was the only one who could make a good romance. RIP, my lady.

I saw The Dark Knight Rises the other night and as I was driving past the city, I wanted to take a picture of Pittsburgh and say "driving through Gotham City" because it was filmed in Pittsburgh, if you didn't know,  but then I realized that was kind of lame. I actually really liked that movie. I mean, I suppose that's a given. The movie theater decided to be retarded and block off the path from the main road. I'm incapable of following detour signs so it took us about twenty minutes to get around and in to the theater. But it was fun.

And this blog has taken me three days to finish writing. I can't focus long enough, forgive me. 
I think that I decided that I really like my job last night. When the kids are being good, it's an awesome job. I spent the whole 8 hour shift coloring posters the other day. Yesterday I played with dogs and watched movies. Just give me more money, for realz. 

On a more serious note, I'm still obsessed with Kanye West, but I can't stop listening to "Runaway". I think that it's one of his best songs. The whole middle part is amazing. There's one verse that used to make me get a little teary-eyed, but now I'm just, you know, over everything. But it's such a good song. And that's my little Kanye love for the day.