Thursday, December 27, 2012

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

So I just wrote this entire post and then it deleted itself because I pushed some random keyboard combination. So...Here are the pictures that I put on it because I have no desire to type all of that nonsense again. 

I just collaged them all so I didn't have to upload each one.

Gotta sleep so I can go to work tomorrow and brave the treacherous (most likely) ice storm.

Are you happy to know I'm unhappy alone?

So I'm sitting in my room and I hear Ashleigh outside bitching about how I'm in my room already and it's not even 8pm. 
A. I'm tired
B. I'm trying out my new face mask you bought me, rudeness. 
It's Cupcake by Lush (of course by Lush,  I know). It feels sort of weird and it smells just like birthday cake so from the get-go I love it. I'm not really sure how long to leave it on as it feels sort of drying right now. I just wiped it off and I don't know how I feel. My skin feels softer but nothing to write home about. Just smells good.

It's December 26th and I've had a fairly hectic week. And when I say that I mean the only thing I did was work. I worked my 16 hours on Sunday then again on Christmas Even and then I worked Christmas morning. I actually enjoyed watching the kids open their presents. For some reason I thought they would be more excited. But I guess  most of them don't believe in Santa and they know that some technical institute of Pittsburgh donates their presents and they generally know what they're getting. They're going to destroy 90% of their gifts by the time I get back tomorrow. 

I'm going to leave on the 28th for Maryland and hopefully it's not snowing. I really hope not because neither Ashleigh or I can drive in snow and my car is a diva and just doesn't do what it doesn't want to do.

I got a lot of stuff for Christmas. Way more than I thought I would get. My big gifts were a turntable and then the Northface jacket that I've been wanting. I got some makeup things:



I got 
  • Cupcake mask (Lush)
  • Naked 2 (Urban Decay)
  • Jackie Oates Colour Supplement (Lush)
  • Naked Basics that I bought myself before
  • Christmas (Urban Decay)
  • Mascara (Tarte)
  • Miracle Leave In Treatment (It's a 10)
Basically other than what I've mentioned, I got a crap ton of gift cards so I'll be good with my coffee fix for a while. Got Starbucks, Panera, McDonald's and Macy's. I have so many things that I want to buy now.  All day I wanted to go to the mall but Alex, Ashleigh and I just ended up laying around the house and getting Grandma mad about diapers...don't even ask about that one. By the time we all finally got showered and ready it was sleeting outside and no one wanted to drive anywhere. I even got dressed and cleaned my car. I wanted to show off my new jacket, but that's a no-go. I'll just show everyone at work tomorrow. Now I need some records so I can listen to my turntable :] 

I really want to see Ellen before I leave, but that probably won't happen because my life sucks. I also didn't get to see Marissa while she was in Ohio so I'm sort of upset about that. But I got to see everyone in my family, so that's okay. Oh and I get to see Jamie and all of my Maryland friends next week so that helps the burn a little.




Monday, December 24, 2012

How dare you say it's nothing to me. Baby you're the only light I think I ever saw.

Alright now, I've done 16 hours and 41 minutes of my 40 hour span of work. All of the kids are sleeping and part of me hopes they sleep forever. They can sleep the next 15 hours for all I care.
But alas, I'm not that lucky and I can't imagine that would be healthy even for teenagers.

I'm bored and just looking at John Mayer and Miranda lambert on Tumblr. I haven't blogged in a while but of course I have nothing to say. It's almost Christmas. Whoohoo. Haven't really wrapped anything. Still need to get stuff. I honestly don't have the slightest idea where the gift I bought my dad ended up.

So lets just pray that I can make it until 11 tonight. I'll worry about the fact that I have to be here again at 7am tomorrow. Cross that bridge when I get to it. Thankfully I remembered my phone charger today.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

it's such a shame for us to part.

I watched Country Strong last night and I honestly cried during the entire thing. It was basically just a bunch of really sad conversations strung together to make a movie. Basically a sob-fest that I loved. A lot. A little too much. I'm not the biggest Paltrow fan and I didn't like her in this movie, but all of the characters were honestly perfect. I don't know if it was the acting or what, but they all had a lot of...character. For lack of a better word. And Beau, the male lead, wow. 
This song:

I've always wished that I was really into country. The lyrics are always so beautiful. 


I'm still working on this whole "going to the gym" thing. I have so much to do. And when I say that I mean I'm still trying to find blogs that I like. I'm watching Somewhere right now and I don't like it. I'm honestly not in the mood to do anything. I checked about 57 movies out of the library and I only watched Country Strong.  In the past 3 or so weeks I've honestly read about 700 pages of about 10 books but I can't seem to finish any of them. I hate when I get like this. When nothing is interesting. That's why I need to work. I need to have something to distract part of my attention. When I have nothing I just have no focus. 

Also, this Christmas is going to suck. Let's see what we have on the work line-up:
Saturday:3-11
Sunday 7am-11pm
Christmas Eve 7am-11pm
Christmas 7am-3pm

So I'm hoping I go back to work tomorrow and by some miracle my schedule is changed up. But I know that's not happening. So, God hates me. Thanks dude.

And in even more news that no one cares about, I downloaded the Glee version of "The Scientist" and it's not good. Only the first few seconds that Finn sings. And this is weird because my normal reaction is that Finn ruins all songs he sings. Maybe he took voice lessons or something. Thank God.

I'm kinda hungry now. I need to slow my eating roll though. I'm weigh too much now (see what I did there?) I had myself a really fancy salad yesterday. All greens and stuff. I made brussel sprouts, which I just recently ate and discovered that I love, and spinach and sugar snap peas and all that good stuff. 




Who knows. It tasted gooood though.
and then for dinner I had cake and about 7 large helpings of spaghetti. eek

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Honey, all the movements you're starting to make See me crumble and fall on my face




That's what it looks like. That random house is our neighbor's house. We can't compete with them. 
Sorry for my shitty pictures. 

I honestly think that "The Scientist" is the greatest song I've ever heard.

tell me your secrets, ask me your questions.

I think that I'm always personally offended that people don't know who Holden Caulfield is. Last night at my friends house, this one boy didn't know who Holden was. He's just a big part of my life.  I mean, I think that I read him differently than most literary scholars and whatnot, but I think that he is exactly what I need him to be. This quote, though. That's how I feel about every situation.
Trying to be inspirational with myself for this one. Nothing is going to happen. Call me Ms. Pessimistic.
This is how I feel on a daily basis. I'm glad that someone thinks it's okay. I'm not sure if I still have my "youth" or whatever, but I like to think that I can still fall into this category. I spent the drive home this morning talking to my friend Whitney about growing up and how neither of us have any idea what we're going to do with our lives or what we want out of it. Of course she has one of those fancy full time office jobs where she makes like 7 times more money than I do, but we're all equally confused so that makes it a little better, I suppose.
This is for all of us hopeless romantics.

Must be Santa.

Welllllll
We're finally in the Christmas spirit here at the Maloney household. 


 We didn't even joke when it came to baby Jesus this year. We got genuine straw from Bethlehem and all.


We basically spent like 6 hours working on this. I'm going to take some pictures with my Nikon since it's now 7:30 and dark outside but my battery was dead (go figure since I never use my camera), so I'll go out in a few minutes and take some.
 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I was lost, I was lost over lines I shouldn't have crossed.

I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but downloading the new version of iTunes was probably the biggest one I've ever made. DON'T DO IT! The actual part where you listen to your own music is set up much like the iTunes store itself. It's honestly ridiculous. I'm contemplating deleting it and downloading a previous version that doesn't suck.




See. It's weird. And that's not even the half of it...it gets worse.

Looks like the iTunes store. That's not what I want. 

You know when you feel like crap? Yes, yes, every day, I know. But You just need someone to tell you that you're pretty. And whatever, it's not like you'd believe them, or care about their opinion, but still. That's how I feel every day. And...


I'm going to my friends house for their birthday. I'm nervous since I haven't done anything other than work or sit alone and watch Love It or List It in honestly 4 months. I don't even think I've been to a bar (other than Mad Mex) since this summer. Maybe that means I'm lame, maybe that means I've lost all hope. Probably the latter. I've come to the point in my life where I need a cup of coffee in order to function. Like I said, I'm trying to cut back, but I really can't. 


I wuv coffee and pie.



Can I go out like this? As much as I hate the Lush conditioner that I got (Big Solid Conditioner...it leaves my hair pretty dry) It does make my hair big for my limp hair. I feel like a scene kid. I also like this black and white feature on my webcam cause it looks like I'm actually wearing make up (still look gross though) when in reality I'm not wearing anything. So I can just fool you guys to think that I care about my appearance.





Thursday, December 13, 2012

You will be back someday. And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to giving you away.

I got all of my Lush stuff- FINALLY. That was such a long wait.
I'm sort of excited for Christmas, I'm not even that mad I get to spend it with all of those stupid kids. I mean, I am but I'm hoping that they decide to act like civilized human beings and we can have fun.
I'm not ever in the Christmas spirit. I don't really like Christmas Music, though I do listen every once in a while.




I bought my pest pair of non-skinny jeans since like freshman year of college. I like them cause they're stretchy as all get out and they can be my new fat jeans. Well, most of my jeans are fat jeans but you know how that goes.

I'm bored. Probably going to take an unnecessarily long time to get ready for work because I have no life, hence the pointless post. I just wanted to use that title. That song came on while I was running my monthly mile at the gym this morning and, well, you know.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Ugh

You know what I hate? People that think they're professional photographers but they suck. Like who is paying you to take their picture when you're trying to pass a D3000 off as professional photography.
That sounds mean of me, but let me get paid for that.

I was 21 and not having any fun

I can't focus on anything. Really. It's sad.
Not sure what I need to focus on, specifically.
I think I miss school. I miss writing papers and learning things because I had to, not because I want to. I have no intrinsic motivation, so I need all that extrinsic junk that makes me do things, makes me learn things. Someone give that to me. 
I know that I'll probably never go back to school. I guess it's part of the plan, but I'm not sure if it'll happen. 
I guess I need to start reading furtively again, but none of the books I'm currency reading are even interesting me. That's sad. I think my obsession with books just ebbs and flows. I mean, it's always there and I always want to read, but sometimes I can function without reading, sometimes I can't. It's probably not as weird as I think. 

We had my GoGo's 80th birthday party on Sunday and my family came up for it. It was nice. Of course it wasn't fun or interesting or exciting or anything because Lauren, Ashleigh and I sat and talked to two old people who were supposedly our distant cousins or something. Then we did the whole mingle with our aunts and be bored out of our minds thing. Took some pictures, ate some cake. Called it a day then went to the mall.

That night, Ashleigh, Jason and I went to pick out a tree. The lot we normally go to was closed as this was 7pm on a Sunday night. But we went over to this place that I didn't even know existed, located in the Dollar Store parking lot. We were surprised by both the quality of the trees and the quality of service. Normally I hate when sales people follow you around and don't realize that you like to look around alone, but this guy didn't bother me. We looked at about four trees, all perfect as far as Christmas trees go, and we picked the winner within 10 minutes. It was weird being the one driving with a tree on top of my car. I'm not sure why.


My goal before work is to get my laundry all washed, folded and put away. I did my laundry about 3 weeks ago and it's still to be folded. So once it's all done, I'm going to take the time to hang everything up and put it in drawers so Gram doesn't get mad. And clean up a little. I'm actually very proud of how clean I've been keeping my room. This might also have to do with the fact that I shoved everything under my bed so my dad didn't kill himself when he slept here...details. 

As music goes, I've basically been listening to Fall Out Boy, namely "Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes". I like when it says "detox just to retox" cause I feel like, however lamely, fits with my life. And I feel like being lame.



This is the cake we got at work. Ain't that cute. I didn't eat it cause I'm fat and had about 30 of the cookies and about 10 slices of pizza. But you know. The kids liked it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

there isn't a damn thing i could do or say, up in the skyway.

DON'T FUCKING TEXT ME WHEN WHATEVER SLUT YOU'RE PERUSING DECIDES THAT YOU'RE A PATHETIC CREEP.
We don't want any over here.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest. 
But sometimes I just get really mad and my teen angst comes out in full force and I imagine smacking people in the head with a bat. I know this probably isn't healthy for my mind, I should imagine talking out my problems with them, but that, to me, sounds worse than getting my teeth pulled out sans Novocaine. So instead I think this:
My imagination: cheaper than therapy.
Just call me Tennessee. And we all know who the zombie is.
You know what I don't get? Why am I like the only one upset that Fall Out Boy isn't making music anymore? Also, that Patrick Stump is skinny. At least he still has his muttonchops. That's really all that matters. I was listening to "What a Catch, Donnie" and I think that's the greatest compilation song ever. Is that a thing, a compilation song? Well whatever. The last 45 seconds of that song remind me of heaven. 
You know what else reminds me of heaven, or I guess what I think heaven will be like?
this song:

It's goregous and makes me wish that it was 1989 and I was laying in bed with my record playing. I told Jamie this and she didn't agree. 

But I'm trying to focus on happy things and next time you see me I'll probably just pull this face and be done with it:



I guess in semi-fun news, I went to a Mexican joint last night with some of my sisters. It was nice to see them since I haven't seen humans in a while. Then I went to Mad Mex with Ellen and got this amazing Red Spicy Ale. I was transported to a Christmas heaven. It was beautiful. 

I guess goodnight. Going to finish the third Dexter book (hopefully). When I finish you can read about it hereeeeeee

aldksfjasdlkfja;sdklfja;sdlkfjasd;lfj

Just watching Gossip Girl and reading Cosmo. 
I'm just hella confused about Carly Rae Jepsen. Get off my magazine you 30 year old moonlighting as a 13 year old.

Hope your day is as uneventful as mine.
People suck.
Can I be Blair Waldorf. 
Screw everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeee and live alone. 
Or Mindy Kaling. 
Alright thanks.

Monday, December 3, 2012

If you're worried about the weather then you picked the wrong place to stay.

I have so much new music to dig through. I haven't gotten very far because  I'm stuck on this album 10x10x10 by Tokyo Police Club that I don't know how I didn't know about. But basically the band I claim is my favorite sing a whole bunch of covers of songs I've never heard of except for "Since U Been Gone", "Party in the USA", "Sweetness", "South Side" and my favorite "Under Control" by the Strokes. 
This song, "Strictly Game" has so many quotable verses I love it.
The one that fits perfectly with my job (I'll make it pretty to liven up my blog):

Make a little money, take a lot of shit.

Feel real bad then get over it. 

I like this song. It's originally by the Harlem Shakes, but I obviously love TPC more than anymore.

Wanna know what shit I take at work?



 I'm just a big baby and I took about 900 pictures of this bruise, but I mean, it's pretty sizable. It's the first one of importance that I've gotten while at work. So you can feel sorry for me. I appreciate any sympathy, guys.
 I'm not sure how this got on here, but this cake was amazing. From this summer, but ya know.
 I got this from Lush tonight. I've used up all my sample and it didn't really do much for me but I'm pretty obsessed with the smell. Lush R&B hair moisturizer. I think that it's supposed to be really good for thick and curly hair. It sort of sticks to my hair and makes it a tad greasy. But again, I like the smell and if I don't use a lot it doesn't make my hair too greasy. Just pretty soft and delicious smelling. Apparently it smells like jasmine, but since I don't know what that smells like, to me it smells like heaven.
 This shampoo. I've been waiting for it to come out and I finally got around to picking some up. It's got bananas in it, if that means anything to any one. Also smells good. Supposed to be for damaged hair and I've got plenty of that. My hair at the moment is about 50 shades of brown. Starting with natural hair color (poop brown) working it's way down to overly processed, highlighted light golden brown. It's sort of a free for all. Like I'm attempting to do that whole ombre thing but it's not turning out too well. Someone better dye my hair ASAP. Until then I'll just keep complaining. You're welcome.
Other than the fact that I look like a legitimate retard in this picture, I went to the Macy's dahntahn because that is the ONLY place in Pittsburgh that houses a Lush store. So I keep making my uncle drive to the city and walk around Macy's while I shop and talk to the Lush employees for 45 minutes. Anywho, these are the Christmas windows and some random shots of Santaland. I was hoping for an Elf sort of feel, but no go. Just a whole lotta disappointment. Life.


I had this really great metaphor thought up last night about this thing that's going on with me, but I can't remember it. Or I can but when I type it out it sounds pretty ridiculous. Basically I want to know but I don't want to ask. I hate what's going on right now, but it's better than not having anything. It's already gone though, so I don't know why I care. I don't even care. I just think I'm supposed to care. I care because I have nothing else. 
In a completely different situation...And why do you think that I want to be your friend? Somethings are baffling. I'm not going to be your 7th choice, so you can go shave your disgustingly hairy back now. But not your face cause I love beards.
Holy subblog. Get over it.
Boys are stupid.



Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'd pay the devil to replace her.

You know what I'll never understand? Why no one I know reads. I'm not trying to sound all high and mighty, but for as much as we all hate our lives, reading is the best escape on the planet. Even if you read those Shopaholic type books, how nice is it to be someone else for a while? Not even to be someone else, I don't know, just not have to deal with what's going on in your life. This is something I'll never understand. Not sitting here saying that I want to be someone else or anything, but it's nice to have the escape. I can't think of another way to put it. I'm not going to sit here and say that I hate TV, but I think that my imagination is 100 times better than anything that some director can think up. Usually. When I go into a library it's like crack. I need it, I want more and more and more. Nothing will ever be enough. I could just look at books, I could read, I could talk about books all day. 
You people explain how you don't like it. 

In that same vein, I'm reading Madame Bovary. It's slow going, not because I don't like it but because I'm sort of blah as of late and reading is somehow too straining. I don't want to hold the book up. But I just read a page about how Emma Bovary is talking to this guy, Leon, about books. Her husband says "My wife doesn't care much about it... She prefers to stay in her room all the time and read, even though she's been told to exercise".
Me too, Emma. Me too.



But do what you will. I'm just telling you that it's nice to get really into reading. Just saying.

Light of my life

I would like someone to give me a legitimate reason why I can't be Mindy Kaling.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Did you say she was pretty and did she say that she loves you? Really I don't want to know.

I'm perfectly cognizant of the fact that not one person who reads this blog could give a crap what music I listen to and what my favorite albums are. But I've been thinking about this the past week, what my favorite albums are, and I thought I'd share. I tried and tried to come up with 10, but it's too hard. I don't even know what my criteria is for being a "favorite album" but I think to me it's just what albums I like so much I honestly can't pick a song that I like the best. And that I like every single song equally. Also, none of these are in order. 


 
Champ
Tokyo Police Club
This might honestly be my all time favorite album. I've written about it 900 times and I'm certain that none of you have given it a listen. BUT YOU SHOULD. I don't know why I love this band so much but I love them so much that I hardly even remember them. Maybe that doesn't mean they're my favorite band. Or maybe it just means that I don't take music as seriously as I used to. Or maybe I'm just really good and I don't play favorites. The first time I heard this band, I don't remember, but it was their second album, Elephant Shell, when I was either a sophomore or junior in college. I don't know how I happened to fall into this amazing band, but I'm glad I did. It was one of those things where I liked an album and it was paired ever so perfectly with a book. I read American Psycho and I can't even explain the perfection. Then from there it was love. I think that Champ is even 10 times better than Elephant Shell. Usually when you like a band you love their early work and then as time progresses, you start to not like it. Not the case. They get better with age. They did a cover album last year, it's good. 


 
The Strokes
Room on Fire

Any CD that has a song on the Marie Antoinette soundtrack is good for me. I don't remember when I first heard this album either. Maybe sometime in 10th or 11th grade. Maybe later? I'm not sure. I love every song, obvs. It's perfect. All catchy. All perfect. They all are a perfect backdrop for me when I pretend that my life is a movie.


 
From Under The Cork Tree
Fall Out Boy

I think this is my favorite FOB album. Could possibly be Foile a Deux, but I'm not sure. Fall Out Boy has to be on this list for several reasons. How do I still love a band after so many years? I love everything they've ever done. I know that I'm a loser for having this on my list, but get over it, it's my list. This was my everything in high school. 


 
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Kanye West

This was also a hard decision; which Kanye album to put on my list. As you all know, I love him with every beat of my heart. I think that I picked this one because of "Runaway". That song is probably the most beautifully composed song ever in existence. Say what you will, but it's gorgeous. While I, embarrassingly, know every word to every song on The College Dropout, it doesn't compare. On this one, Kanye is in a world of his own, away from all other musicians. Don't know how to explain it. Every second of this album is perfect. Words can't even describe it. One time I read in People magazine that My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was the number one best album of 2010 or of the first 10 years of the 2000's. When I read that I was like "I think The College Dropout is way better". And then I gave it another listen because at first I didn't really like it. It was too sing-songy compared to his other work. I'm a believer. 




And that's it. Right now that's all I can think of.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

i went to a wishing well, sank to the ocean floor.

I feel like I hardly blog anymore and when I do, it's stupid annoying nonsense. So for that I am deeply sorry. I realize that no one cares or is even troubled by it.

Things of semi-imporatnce:

My computer is being retarted. I don't know who it thinks it is but I'll be typing and it'll just stop when it feels like it. Then sometimes my screen will think it's a Oujia board and just move the cursor of its own free will. I have to chase it around the screen with my mousepad. Then it'll take about 13 seconds to delete something. So it's really annoying since I failed typing in 10th grade and I suck at typing. Sometimes it'll take another 13 seconds for me to see the sentence that I'm typing. It'll be invisible and then all of the sudden a whole paragraph will appear with a thousand little red lines cause I suck at typing and I have errors galore.

I have no money, suprpise surprise. HELP ME I'M POOR.

I just got the newest Blink-182 CD because Ashleigh reminded me about it. I feel sort of betrayed because it's not Blinkish at all. Its almost soley Angels and Airwaves plus a small amount of +44. I realize that you disbanded, sang some new songs with some new people and then came back together for a tour and an album.  Still, I want some more small things or at least on the same course aas "I Miss You". It's so different from their roots I hate it. So far I really like "Wishing Well" and "After Midnight" with that said.

And I'm giving up with this computer. I can't do anymore blogging today.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Bored

So I'm on Facebook and I keep reading all this shit that people are thankful for. I know you have a perfect life, stop rubbing it in my face. Please and thank you.
You want to know what I'm thankful for, really?
I'm thankful that I have a bag of Cheetos and that I'm getting paid time and a half. I'm not thankful for being stuck at work or missing yet another holiday cause I have a shitty job.
I am thankful for books and lush face wash and laundry detergent and Chapstick. I'm thankful for China Bistro II in Glenshaw, PA. I'm thankful for Crest whitestrips and mouthwash
I'm thankful for Holden Caulfield and text messaging. I'm thankful I don't pay rent or car insurance. I'm thankful for John Mayer and my iPod. Sharpies, crayons and Cliff bars. Water,coffee, tea. Yellow tulips (that no one will ever get me) sarcasm and my Michael Kors wallet. Black tights, skinny jeans, mermaids. The fact that I'm hilarious, I have some cool friends and my family does everything for me because im too stupid and lazy to do it. I'm sort of thankful I have someone paying attention to me even though its not the right kind of attention.


This 17 year old resident just got cheated on and so she keeps talking to me about it and instead of being all therapeutic about it I'm just like "be mad and upset about it for as long as you need to. You'll get over it eventually". I've never really been one to talk about my emotions or feelings or anything like that. I never used to even tell people about my life. Especially about boys. I just started admitting to having boyfriends last year and that was a bad idea. It's so much easier to get over things when it only exists to you. You can pretend like it didn't happen, cause no one knows it did. Talking about your problems is like eating Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop. No one cares about them but once it's out there, it has to stay out there. That's why I never really got therapy. You always come to the conclusion yourself and figure out your problems on your own anyway so why not just think logically for ten minutes and save yourself thousands of dollars. Maybe I just understand myself well enough to know what I need. That sounded very big of me, I'm sorry.

Another unfortunate trait of mine is that I'm convinced that déjà vu is dreams you've had. I had proof of this so don't think I'm crazy. I just remember small things from my dreams. Then they happen in real life.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

These scars of mine make wounded rhymes tonight I dream of times when you were mine so I Can keep it like a haunting Heart beating close to mine

Is anyone else about to flip shit because of all of these ads on their computer? 
I can't take it anymore and if I wasn't constantly getting music from the library, then I'd never use this stupid thing. 
Also, you know when you're talking to someone and you can't think of anything until two days later and you come up with the perfect answer? If conversations consisted of someone giving you a page of questions and you having a pen and about 20 minutes to answer each one, the world would be a much happier place. Well, mine at least.

Today I went to get Chinese with my friend. I got General Tso's Tofu cause I'm like some sort of mock vegetarian.  And then I got yet another peppermint mocha at some pretentious coffee shop... Someone please stop me. 




Currently listening to: 
Lykke Li-Sadness is a Blessing

could of been a princess, you'd be a king.

You know what I just realized? I'm the only person I know that reads as much as I do and doesn't have an E-Reader (other than my Grandma) and that drinks as much coffee as I do and doesn't have a Keurig. I'm just stuck in the 20th century. Which, without a doubt, was the best century ever.
I ate out twice yesterday (yikes) and I'm going to eat out again tonight. Thank heavens I don't have to pay for any of it though.

That's just me and my messy room. Me reading Bristol Palin's book. An adorably, unnecessary shirt from BR. A spider ring that one of my kids gave me. He's so cute.

My hands are already at that point in the winter where they spontaneoulsy break open. No matter how much lotion I put on them, they open up at will.

I had off yesterday and I did nothing but lock my keys in my car, talk with my old supervisor about my old job, wear a sorta cute outfit for once, eat out with a friend at a Chinese place, eat out with my aunt and Alex at some super fancy place where I had ravioli filled with wild boar. It was every bit as amazing as it sounds. 

Like I mentioned, I drink a lot of coffee. I've never really drank this much coffee before and it's wreaking havoc on my teeth. They're pretty darn yellow. So I started flossing twice a day, religiously, and the yellow is slowly leaving. I need to stop drinking the coffee but I can't. I'm at the point where I cant function without it. And my teeth hate it, but whatever. It's not like anyone is looking at me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

just let me mother fucking love you


Call me a loser for still liking The All-American Rejects, but dang. Just take a minute to appreciate this song. It is basically everything. If I was in a talent show and I could sing, I would totally belt out the acoustic version of this song. I'm sorry. I would.

Speaking of music, I feel so out of the loop. All of these new songs and bands are on YouTube but I've never heard of any of them. Maybe back in the day when all I cared about was finding new music and it seemed like your coolness factor directly correlated with how quickly you found the newest obscure band. I'm just at that point in my life where I like what I like when I like it. So, I'm sorry. You're getting music from 2011. How regrettable.



I like this song ^^ :]
Any song that sounds like a lullaby but says "mother fucking" about 14 times is cool to me. It's a cover of The Weeknd's song "Wicked Games". I'm in love with it.

I hate to be so emotional.

I've got no life. 
I'm bored out of my mind. 
I realize it's sort of "cool" to have 4 days off in a row, but when you have no friends, like your job and get a hypochondriacs version of anxiety about sitting around, it's not fun. 
I really hate it. 
I haven't done anything in three days.
I'm going to make my Christmas list and I'll put a link up somehow. 
All I've done the past three days is watch Love It or List It and it seems like day number 4 is going to be in the same vein. I'm going to get Chinese food today. Cause I deserve it for being so bored and fat. 
I spent the entire morning unsubscribing myself from emails. 
Come on. 

I'm on Dexter #2 (Darkly Dreaming Dexter) and from what I remember, it's nothing like Season 2. But if we recall, I have the worlds worst memory...so. 
 I painted my nails and I think my new favorite color is Essie's "Devil's Advocate". For a while it was O.P.I's "Samoan Sand" because Kimmy K wore it (or that's what an online blog said was closest to the color she gets her nails done a lot). Obviously I needed it. Anyway, Devil's is a really dark purple. It's almost black but it stays pretty shiny. Except for the fact that I can't wait until my nails dry so they're all scuffed up. I'm also horrible at painting my nails.


I don't know. I'm about to attempt to get the energy to go to the gym. But I doubt that's going to happen any time soon. My stupid cloud still isn't updating to my computer, so I'm mad about that. That means you get a collage of my ugly pictures that I took in like 2010 because I haven't taken any since then. Sucks I suck at photography, but I liked those flowers, so you get 'em. 

In music news, I'm on a shuffle-run. I got New Found Glory's newest CD, Radiosurgery and it's not that good. They peaked with Sticks and Stones. I also got a Lil Wayne CD and I like two of the songs on that album. Cause I know you were dying to know. And anyway, I'm still obsessed with the Kings of Leon song "Pickup Truck"

Happy Day.
I'm sorry I'm ugly but doze are my nails, horribly painted, of course. Of course. And my awesome new robe which I basically live in. Holla. IM me cause I'm too lazy to charge my phone. And I should start wearing makeup again butttt.....

Saturday, November 10, 2012

get a life

Why in the world would anyone ever question why I am going to grow up to be Dorthy Zbornak? Why?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm sorry for wasting your time.

So there is this resident at work and we'll call him "John". He's technically MR but everything he does makes me laugh. You can't understand a word he says and it always comes out jumbled. For example, if he was saying "can I use the bathroom" it would come out something like "hehheyearum" and you just say yes. Anyway, John likes to flip the bird a lot. Like all the time. If you say "hey what's up", you're likely to get the middle finger. And he does it so casually, that's my favorite part. It's just up and then down. I'm assuming he doesn't get it's connotation. But my point is, this is how I want to live life. And you know I think that the use of the middle finger is about the lowest form of argument one can make, it feels good sometimes. Fuck everything, you know. Be mad when you're supposed to be mad. Hating people is okay. Just don't show it. Do a causal "fuck you" in your mind. It'll make everything better and then people still think you like them so no harm done.

Also, you know that moment when you realize that you're not wanted but you can't leave? You know the conversation is over but you don't want it to end? You know your cue is to end it but you won't. Yep

I have a 4 day weekend and nothing to do. Probably going to play sims and eat. And eat.

Also also, is it weird that one of the residents reminds me of this boy I used to go around with. No, the weird thing is that this specific resident is an 11 year old girl. But then again I also find 18 year olds in beanies and skinny jeans to be attractive. We all have our flaws. And I'm also the loser who has the love of her life say two words to her and she's smitten for the rest of the day.

My life is embarrassing

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Just so you know I was thinking of you. Just so you know, ooh.





Here are some randos that have been on my phone that you probably have no desire to see, but here they are.

The guy from One Direction, right? OOOMG his poor life. What was this doing in one of those tween magazines?



I mean, really? I want one.

I'm going to go and say that this is the most ignorant tweet I've ever read in my life. And that says a lot with me using the word "ignorant" where it doesn't belong.

I can die in peace now. Three years mothaafuckaaa

So I decided to spend money that I don't have about two weeks ago and buy a Clarisonic. I like it so far, I guess. I need something to get rid of my blackheads and my acne scars, which seem to be my only problem as of late. I like the Clarisonic, but I'm sure I'll get bored with it. It's annoying and a lot of work for my lazy self. Also, none of my Lush cleansers work well with it. So we'll have to see how that unfolds. 
But in other skin news, I got this black mask from Bosica, and I honestly love it. I was reading reviews for a while and they all said that it was either amazing and did wonders for their skin, or it sucked. Usually with my luck, I end up with the latter. But I mean, I like it. Just like I am with everything, apathetic. It works, I think. I think that my face has a lot less crap in it. I guess only time will tell. I've been using it about twice a week and my blackheads look less black. I guess there is 24 years of unfortunate crap stuck in them so they won't be clean overnight. And then in the reviews all of these girls said that it was so hard to peel off. Not the case. I'm basically a buffoon when it comes to anything beauty related, but this was pretty easy. Just make sure you put on a layer of the black gunk thick enough that you can't see your skin. And when it peels off...well let me show you. It's not what I was expecting. Okay, I can't show you since for some reason my cloud is being a diva right now. None of my pictures are synching with my laptop. Maybe I need to update it...too much work though. Anyway, it just peels off in a black sheet. Sort of weird. If you want to see it, I'll text you the pictures.

Currently I'm listening to to this Kings of Leon song, "Pickup Truck". I really like the guys voice in Kings of Leon, but like all of their other albums I listen to like two songs that I like over and over and never listen to any of the other songs.

Enemy sleeps with me night or day Enemy teases every minute in my mind He's in my mind

Is it okay to admit that I haven't done anything in over a week other than:
- Work
-Play The Sims
-Read the first Dexter book
-Watch HGTV on mute

I'm going to say that it's not okay. But whatever, everything is stupid. I think I'm getting sick. I got bit in the shoulder on Sunday and it hurt. Like not an "omg that bitch bit me and it's bleeding" sort of hurt. Just the sort of hurt that makes your body feel sore. So, that's weird. I mean my nose has been running. So just an overall soreness. And that's probably due to not working out and eating like a maniac. I started a cleanse thing today. I've only done one of the packet things this morning and it made me get a headache. Also, I can't eat anything basically. And when I say basically I mean that. The only approved food that I have in this house are red apples. So I've had about 6 red apples. I tried to make a shake out of red apples and the soy milk I have. Didn't go so well. I hate red apples and also they're supposed to be organic. I'm pretty sure my Grandma would never buy organic anything. We so enjoy pesticides in this family.

Other than me being sick, I must be spending money like I have it. My credit card bill is twice what it normally is. So I'm just going to sit in this broken recliner, play Sims, watch HGTV on mute, stare out the window listening to Norah Jones and sobbing. 

Norah Jones. I know that none of you listen to her, but this newest album that she has out is beyond magical. I love it so much. I like to think that God or whoever sends me albums at the exact moment that I need them. My friend Rudy was telling me for months to get Little Broken Hearts and I was always just too lazy to illegally download it. When the library finally let it fall into my hands was when I needed it. I mean, not like I needed it, it just gave me a lot of blog titles and tweets, because I'm guessing that Ms. Jones went through the same thing that I did. I didn't need saving or anything all "your music helped me through so much, it saved my life" nonsense. And I really hate when my feelings can align with Taylor Swift because that makes me feel pathetic, so Norah it is. And she's beautiful and she has an amazing voice. Must be nice. I've never really listened to her older stuff other than, like, "Sunrise" and I don't know if I want to. I have another album of hers that I have on shuffle, and I like it, it just seems likes it's geared more towards older people. Like the type of people that you'd expect to like John Mayer-other than frat guys- you know? Little Broken Hearts is, I don't know, maybe a little more indie pop. Better music, too. And a little less cheery. I don't want to listen to you singing about making coffee in the morning. I like songs about a guy cheating on you and then you getting revenge by killing him and his secret paramour. Just saying. However, I like when Dolly sings a song with Norah. That's cute.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Political rants

I'm sorry but I hate girls that think they're cool cause they play video games. And I mean there's nothing wrong with playing video games, but then there are those girls who think they're really cool cause they play video games. I hate them.

Good news: 2 hours and 16 minutes left until I can leave and drive home and sleepppp

I've given up reading and have taken to looking up random people's Facebook's cause I'm about to fall asleep. I'm just super uncomfortable and tired and cold and I have my hood on and I'm like literally in the worlds most awkward position with pillows surrounding me cause I feel like laying on a pile of snow and holy run on.

Also, I don't consider myself to be an informed citizen, but I can't stand all of these people who are like "I vote for Micky Mouse". Really? Just stay home. It's not like you're "sticking it to the man" or anything. It's anonymous and no one cares. You'd do everyone a favor by staying home. And I get that people are annoyed by political Facebook statuses cause oh my gosh, I know you're going to vote for Obama. Shocker, you're a liberal I never would've guessed. While in this election I'm sort of embarrassed to classify myself as a republican as they're not making us look too smart. Well, whatever. I have no idea what I am. I mean, honestly my life hasn't changed at all since Obama took office. But I'm not much of a fan of his immigration policy and I couldn't tell you whose economic plan is better cause that stuff goes over my head. Please disregard the fact that I am certified to teach economics. The whole abortion thing, we all know where I stand on that. I don't like either of the candidates, really. Who does? They're both really vague. I mean this country is 14 trillion doll hairs in debt, , at this point we might as well just keep going or print more money (I'm kidding, of course. I'm lookin at you, Zimbabwe). Are either of your plans honestly going to make that go down? But I don't have the answers. That's why I get paid to yell at children who are never going to change.

But my one favorite little girl goes "I like your laugh and I like your smile" that's cute cause the only compliment I like is when people tell me they like my smile. Not that I have a nice one or I have pretty eyes cause omg they're blue wow so many people have blue eyes.

Anyway, I just hate most females who are younger than me. Hate 'em all cause they all think they're so cool and they prob hate me cause they think I think I'm so cool. But you know what? I am.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth

Im doing an overnight right now and I love it. I should totally switch to an overnight staff. All the kids are in their rooms and I don't have to see them or talk to them, just sign a piece of paper every 30 minutes saying everyone is accounted for. I'm probably keeping them all awake cause I'm munching on a bag of very loud chips and noisily reading my book about vampires. The only downside is that I'm freezing. It's not even very cold. I was sweating when I first got here. I already did my 8 hour shift earlier today, but now just doing an overnight so I get all day tomorrow off. I love just sitting here for eight hours. Normally I'm bored at work, but during the day I actually have to look like I'm doing something. At night it's like "I did my paperwork so I'm gonna read, and blog and tweet and eat these chips till 7am". Gives you a lot of time to think about how much you hate people. Also gives you a lot of time to freak out because, FYI, traumatized children talk in their sleep a lot. Don't know what they're saying, but it's creepy. And what I wouldn't give to be sleeping right now...

Anywho, people suck. They're annoying. Like really, I know you're the laziest piece of crap on the planet, but come up with something better please. I mean, I realize I'm not worth your time or anything, but...go big or go home. And you're still sitting on your couch. Okay I'm done.

I had a dream the other day that my dad was Mitt Romney and was running for president.

Can I go take a little nap now?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

You don't pull my strings cause I'm a better man, moving on to better things

Today was a perfect day for my Wednesday Addams dress. I'm going to try to get stuff done today. Got nothing accomplished yesterday other than eating. At least I saw some friends. I went to mad mex with Whitney, Madelyn, Steph and Michelle.. And tonight hopefully Whitney and I are going to this new noodles place in shady side. Lets see how that goes. Someone stop me from spending so much money. Please an thank you.
Speaking of, I got the clarisonic yesterday and this black mask from boscia. I'll write about it later.
These poor guys who are painting my house because I have to move my car every day or they move it for me. But really, it's taken them like 3 weeks to paint the trim on the house. I have a huge house but it's not a mansion or anything. There are three guys. What is taking so long. They're disturbing my peace.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Bored yet again

Out of all the people you have kissed, give me the initials of the best kisser.
-it's too embarrassing

If you could spend more time with someone you used to be very close with, who?
-I'm not sure I see the people I want to see.

When will your next kiss be?
-never

Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
-I say I am but probably won't.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed?
-I suppose

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
-working

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
-longgg

If you were at reasonable age, would you prefer a baby boy or girl?
-boy

What colour shirt are you wearing?
-black like always

What are you doing tonight?
- working till 11

Can you leave the house without makeup?
-oh hell no

What do you want?
-sleep.

Who knows a dark secret or two about you?
- I'm not interesting enough to have deep dark secrets.

Do you like Batman?
-I don't hate him.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
-earlier today 😻😻

Do you have any plans for the weekend?
-nothing but work

What do you always take with you?
-my phone

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
- took a shower

How are you right now?
-on a scale of 1 to 10 about a 35

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
-yea!

What are you tired of?
-sleep deprecation

How late did you stay up last night?
-Like 1030

Have you ever been called heartless?
-probably

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
-a few months ago I could name like 3 people, but I don't care right now

Is there something right now that has you worried?
-sort of but not really.

How old were you when you got your first piercing
- 5 or 6 maybe?

What did you do today in detail?
-just worked. You know. Same old.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
-probably. Idk

Are you nice to the people you dislike?
- depends on the situation, but generally, yes.

What are you excited for?
-nothing at all

You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
-Clothes probably. Or put it in my account and use it on random stuff.

You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station:
-Chips and monster zero.

If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
-one of those bottom dwelling fish at the very bottom of the ocean that hasn't been discovered yet.

Who’s your favourite redhead?
-No question, Ron Weasley

Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?
-pitch perfect

Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:
-John Mayer

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Helps me to imagine you But more often than not I'm all alone

Tunin' and boozin'. 
And when I say "boozin'" I mean I'm drinking pumpkin tea. And ohmygosh let me tell you this is amazing. I spend too much time/money at Trader Joe's, but you know, it's worth it. I also got some pumpkin butter and some coco butter lotion and some organic honey. Cause I'm hipster like dat. Yup. 
And while I was at home I got some shampoo and some more face wash.

Anywho, this is what I've been listening to this week because I know you all care. And not one song is from this year. 

Problem Queen ft. Norah Jones- Danger Mouse and Daniele Luppi 
Make Out Kids-Motion City Soundtrack
All of the Death Cab songs on repeat.

Monday, October 15, 2012

can you tell me why you've been so sad

I should probably stop blogging this week, but you guys love it...right?
Okay, well yesterday my family went to Alexandria, Va and it was beautiful. We basically spend every minute yelling at each other any time we go anywhere and yesterday was no different, but at least the scenery was nice. I wish I could live in a place like that but I'll never be able to afford it. Oh well. Here are some pictures (Thank god for iPhones):
This is just some water. Not even the prettiest view ever, but I enjoyed it.


And the award for the most un-photogenic family goes to...


I didn't have any other option...I had to.




Family just walkin'

Ashleigh and Lauren at this really yummy Lebanese place.

And hi, I'm gross.

Her face looks about right.

This is Turkish coffee and it is amazing.

Waiting in line to get ice cream. And the boy behind us thinks I'm a freak.

Said ice cream.

Lauren got this for Ashleigh but I liked it so I wore it.

How to ignore your family 101