Thursday, September 29, 2011

I'm drunk off your kiss for another night in a row. this is becoming too routine for me.

I went for a really nice walk in the cemetery today.
It's actually quite peaceful. I'm not being morbid or anything. 
And now with the leaves changing, it's most perfect.
Maybe one day I'll go take some pictures of it. 

I wish I wasn't breaking out.

My supervisor told me yesterday that I remind him of Eeyore. 
Should I have taken offense to this? 
Because I did. He made it seem like it was some good thing, like I have no emotion and you can never tell how I'm actually feeling. 
I find this strange because I always thought I was a "wear your heart on your sleeve" type of person. Like I have no ability to hide what I'm feeling. Apparently not. Apparently everyone thinks I'm this calm, happy person. Then again, this is also extremely contradictory to the 900 times a day I get "Don't look so sad".
How one portrays one thing and feels another, I'm not sure. I guess I'm doing it though. 
When people tell me I'm calm I don't understand. Inside I'm like a roller coaster, a boxer and a 15 year old hysteric girl that just found out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. 
I like the fact that people don't see it though. 
It calms me even further. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

forget about me it's what I deserve.

I'm going to become one of those people who sit on the couch all day and shop online. Is that a bad thing? I'm sure it is. 
What websites have free shipping? 
This is odd for me because I love physically shopping.
Then again, why didn't I think of this before?
I get to sit in a nice recliner AND shop.
AND eat.
This is perfect.
Also, why am I watching Rachel Zoe?
Her husband is so gay it's not even funny.

In other news, I'm a terrible person. I don't know what's going on with my life and I think someone needs to stop me. I'm not used to all of this attention/drama/life. Just give me some Doreets and some new shoes and I'll be better. 
I'm kidding. I've gained so much weight I wish someone would have an intervention with me.


Reality/Expectations